October 27, 2005

Why I hate blogs

Right, my name's Richard, I do 2nd year history and politics, and I hate blogs.

Now, before some whiney little bitch goes "oohhh, so why've you got one then…" it is perfectly feasible to have something you hate. For example, a crap grade or, slightly worse, aids, both of which are your own fault and both of which you should get over, since there's nothing you can do about them. And this is what I'm doing with my blog, moaning about it now so I can gradually come to accept it.

Anyway, back to my point, the reason blogs are so despicable is because many of them appear to have been written by a retard on crack who is viciously attacking the keyboard with his penis. In other words, they're a pile of wank. Seriously, if you couldn't spell, or speak in coherent sentences, in real life you would have the mental capacity of a 3 year-old, so why do you type without vowels and disregard punctuation on t'internet??*

However, that's not even the worst problem with blogging. The most horrendous thing is that you are assuming that what you have to say is of interest to others. There can be no argument about this, for you would keep a diary if you were even remotely concerned about inflicting yourself and your dismal life upon other people. Obviously, it is an individual's choice as to whether they read a particular blog, but if they were to stumble upon yours then even a quick skim over the first couple of lines could cause them to fly into a blinding rage, or even kill themselves. Seriously, who cares what time you had breakfast in the morning and how much it hurts to take a dump? Not me mate (although i do hope you bled…).

So that's why I detest blogs, I'm sure most of you disagree, which is fantastic, and if you have a comment then type away. Just one request, if you are going to call me a hypocrit or criticise my grammar and spelling mistakes then stop being anal and stay away from me blog.* Alternatively, you could chop both your hands off (get a friend to help) and have the pleasure of reading future entries without fear of typing a worthless comment.



*These phrases are, in fact, northern slang and, whilst I am not in the slightest bit northern, I feel that they are a good way to sound less middle class (pronounce class without the R) and so I embrace them at every opportunity.


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