December 26, 2004

Messy Christmas and Happy New Ears

So I haven't blogged since October. But my cousin and one of my best freinds told me when i got back from Warwick this christmas that they stumbled across my blog accidentally and really enjoyed it. So this is kind of for them if no one else. Wanna know what I got for christmas?

Hip flask filled with Bells whisky from my sister – I've been carrying it around with me ever since I unwrapped it. I feel like a true gentlemen when in company I remove it from my jacket, take a quick swig from the curved metal receptacle, give it a quick polish and offer it to those around with the information that "It really warms you up inside". I think saying this also gives me the air of an ashamed alcoholic looking for excuses and explanations for his beloved. God knows why but this seems rather cool to me.

Jamie Oliver cookbook – Chance to renew my original University intentions to become a reasonably good cook and distinguish myself from the student stereotype of cheese and toast, which i ate throughout term 1.

Cashmere scarf – I suddenly see the real reason that i have put these three gifts first. It is not that i am a man who appreciates the finer things in life (gourmet, fabric, beverages), it is that i like to look as though i am a man who appreciates the finer things in life. I appreciate the finer things, dont get me wrong, but i dont like them as much for their effect on me, as i do for the effect on other people.

Paul Smith perfume – (see above)

Poi juggling set – This was one of the presents i asked for and the one i have been most anticipating. Poi looks fucking cool, unfortunately the particular poi that my dad bought me aren't ideal, they're a kind of luminous yellow with a green tail but never mind, they'll do for practising before i work my way up to FIRE POI!!!! At which point i'll have crowds of people surrounding me with gasps and applause of admiration. And then there'll be poi groupies sucking me off while i spin fire dangerously close to their heads. Sweet.

Ball juggling set – Dad, because i ask for one type of juggling set, does not mean that i am suddenly crazy on all types of juggling and that you should feed this interest because you liked it when you were a kid and we may finally have something in common. To your credit, as juggling balls go, these ones are pretty sweet what with being metallic silver and black.

£40 – Love you Nan

Leatherman style pair of swiss army pliers – Could've sworn I got this last year. Never mind, it'll be useful for survival when i find myself lost and drunk in the deserted wasteland between Gibbet Hill and Rootes after popping down to the lake for a spliff.

CD by some dude called Nick Drake- This was given to me by my cousin's Australian friend. Apparently Nick Drake is "a religion". I love new totally random music, so i cant wait to listen to this.

Biography's of Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison – Always good to expand my knwoledge of musical history and no longer feel like some complete pleb when my flatmates discuss bands i have no idea about but really wish i did.

A Diesel t-shirt with "I am a sinner" logo – Trust cousin Trevor to get me the one thing that is actually really fashionable. No one else would be able to do it. He bought me a Paul Frank t-shirt two years ago and to this day it is still one of my favourite t-shirts.

A bowling ball – (this one needs and deserves its own blog entry to be properly explained)


October 26, 2004

Small world hypothesis

As part of my As level maths course, my class had to go to a "Maths Seminar" in London one afternoon (Yes, you're right, it sucked balls). Four of the five lectures we heard that day were mind-numbingly uninteresting but there was this one bloke who talked about the "Small World Hypothesis". Now i dont remember any of the details and i dont remember his name (although i did buy his book). The basic gist of it is this:

You know every single person in the world by five (yes, FIVE) people. This means, that you know someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows any one you could care to think about. How incredible's that?!

Of course i expect that it doesn't really count for nomadic tribes of the African planes who have their own unique language and are full of genetic fuck-ups due to interbreeding and the like, but for anyone WORTH knowing you know by five people. This has always intrigued me, i've always wanted to see if i could do it, i just never found the time. But coming to Warwick and hearing about my friends experiences at other Uni's has led to me finding some amazing connections between people. I'll list a few examples.

Ex 1. I went to Reading this year with a group of my best friends. One night, Lenny was stumbling around looking for something to do when he happened across some guys with a ghetto blaster sitting on one of the bridges. he started a stoned chat with them and managed to find out that they were from Berkhamstead, a large town about 20 miles from where we live. Now my best mate Crab lives opposite me but went to a Berkhamstead school and they happened to know him. But this isnt where the story ends. Lenny is now at Bristol University and one of those three same guys is on his floor! They only worked it out after chatting for a bit, they didnt even recognise each other. You should know that I have a shed/summerhouse in my back garden where my friends and i like to chill out and smoke a bit of weed. Sometimes random people end up there, but normally I know them. Turns out this guy Avi has been to my shed! It gets even weirder though, because another of our best mates Stuart found out that (god-knows-how) living on the floor below him, is Avi's best friend from Berkhamstead. Now that is some freaky shit.

Ex 2. Another of our best mates Toby, is at Bristol University with Lenny. A friend of one of his housemates was staying over for the weekend and Toby managed to get chatting to her. Again, god-knows-how, but this girl told Toby that she had a friend, Jade, at Warwick Uni, who recently got kinda friendly ;) with a guy called Shaggy. Now Shaggy is a nickname at Warwick that this group of friends from home dont really call me, but Toby soon twigged that this Shaggy was me! Of all the friends, in all the houses, in all of Bristol, of all the Uni's in England, she ended up talking to my best friend Toby. And not only that but the conversation could have gone in any direction but managed to find it's way round to the subject of little ol' me. It sends shivers down my spine.

Right now I gotta get on with an essay on Casablanca. Please share stories!


October 21, 2004

Heraclitus and me

Heraclitus says in fragment 15 (Waterfield) that Sea water is the most pure and impure thing. It is "drinkable and wholesome for fish, but undrinkable and posonous for men". I had that same thought less than six months ago about the human penis. I'm not being crude but just think about it, the human penis produces two things, one of which is essential in order to create a new human, and the other discarded from our bodies as poisonous. Just another thought I'd like to share. Although this time it's my own.

October 20, 2004

Respect the police, coming straight out of Trumpton

Just had one of the coolest nights so far and i didnt drink a single thing. After tonights General Meeting (I've never heard the word Cannabis so many times in one sitting) i was dying for a smoke. I managed to resist until i completed my 19 page philosophy reading four hours later. God knows how it took so long. There's always somethng worth going to see round my way.

Course i didnt actually complete it. What i thought was 19 pages was actually 38 pages, and thanks to the brilliantly shyte creators of Adobe Acrobat i didnt realise until 16 pages in. At this point i quickly lost interest and began the preparations for the rest of the night…

Now I already knew that my next-door neighbour is a bit of a character, I can't help but smile when I see him. But tonight it became confirmed in my mind, that my pseudo-roommate, who we shall call Zeus, is the funniest guy I have ever met, and probably will ever meet, in my life.

I hadn't been for a proper smoke since I arrived here, an occasional spliff after a night out just to properly finish you off. But tonight, there was nothing on in The Union, my friends were staying in, and so I went for a smoke with Zeus.

I don't know whether it was me or him but everything that came out of that mans mouth, i couldn't help but smile at. The stories he told were fantastic, like the time he was on mushrooms and thought that he had the discovered the greatest joke in the world, and he was the only one who knew about it. He didnt know what it was unfortunately, he said it was in binary. even when he wasn't saying anything, just sitting on that cold, wet bench with his cheeks puffed out. All I could do was fall about laughing my ass off.

Occasionally I'd look up and admire the view, the mist was incredible around Rootes tonight and the lake became like a Monet, with the water and trees and sky beautifully merging into each other. Every sight I saw looked like a photograph that could be published; the mist making everything poetci, and picturesque. Particularly the sight over the field on the south side of old Rootes, looking from the tennis courts to the carpark in the milky distance. The lights and tree silhouettes made it look like, as Zues pointed out, an "alien landing sight".

now I'm blogging, absoltuely shtifaced. I'm really tired so bless any poor bastard who reads this drivel, and goodnight.


October 18, 2004

another thought courtesy of a mate

Tom Shercliffe, the gentle giant of my kitchen, came up with this gem of an observation he made when one of our kitchen adoptees, Jake, arrived one night having straightened his hair. Artistic connoseurs will note that changing the frame around a work of art can have a dramatic effect on the appearance of the picture. As the jokes about Jake's femininity died down, Tom pointed out that changing your hair style or having it cut is like changing the frame of a picture: the masterpiece that is someone's facial features remains the same, but the way in which one's hair frames it can radically alter the effect that those features have. I think that that truism is something that will stick with me for the rest of my life. I'll never look at getting a new haircut the same way again.

October 09, 2004

a time and a place for everything

I remember a guy in my secondary school who, upon hearing someone say the phrase "there's a time and a place for everything" would reply, "Yeah, it's called University". And now I'm here. its not got everything, for a start i'm not allowed to play my guitar in my halls, and great fun though Freshers week was, it wasn't the carnage that i expected. But it is pretty sweet.

September 27, 2004

i dont know who i am

I started this blog because I had a thought today that I'd like to share. I have a lot of thoughts that I'd like to share, generally. This is a pretty good way to do it.
I was analysing my behaviour around those I've met since arriving, when i'm just chatting and socialinsing. I realised that this is probably the most natural i've acted in a good few years. Around my friends at home, I know each intimately (not like that) and so i know what to say to make them laugh or think or get excited. Because i dont know these new people, they're personalities dont affect me in the same way, and so i find that i'm making conversation from scratch, not based on past experiences or mutual friends. It's interesting to see what sort of stuff i come out with. So along with all these new external personalities, its a bit like meeting myself for the first time too.

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