All entries for March 2005

March 29, 2005

Ugliest Football Fans?!

The Sun did a survey a few years ago as to which team in the country had the ugliest and worst dressed fans…Sadly my true love West Bromwich Albion were voted the ugliest n worst dressed fans in the country…

Now i reckon its time those ratings were changed… and i will be posting ugly fans over the next few weeks!

This is the first contender, care of the BBC site…

League 1 high fliers – Luton Town… at least the people on the pitch are serving up something a bit more pleasing to the eye than what lies off it!


March 27, 2005

for Vicky G

As all of you know, Vicky G and I are friends in benefactors… but friends with privilidges, mainly sexual. The girl has a mouth like a dyson :p – she wont mind me saying that as she loves the compliment!

however, my rampant friend has one flaw of late!!

the girl who apparently likes Alan Partridge has failed to answer her phone on 4 seperate occasions now when i have rang her with the comedic intent to call her a fat cow and hang up!

Vicky G - NAMED AND SHAMED!


March 24, 2005

Have we put the clocks forward?!

Sat in the library reading about Ebbinghaus and Frederic Bartlett… all kinds of connections should be firing in my brain ready to compare them in the essay (bit of a psychology joke in there… spot it ;-))

and the only thing i notice is my laptop and phone are an hour behind the library clock.

Ive been working off my phone clock all day… is it 2–45 now or 3–45 thats the big question as it has a massive bearing on the amount of traffic i expect to have to put up with!


March 21, 2005

Where the fuck is Brenda?

Ok before we start Im not a necropheliac, and im not sitting around waiting for an old woman to come and pleasure me.

Quite the usual, Brenda is the name of my laptop, or at least my new one when it arrives. Ive ordered it, and knowing i like to leave the house once in a while I paid an extra bit of cash for next day delivery to save me having to wait in the house all day for 4 days just incase it comes.

Well… I ordered it Wednesday and got a call on Thursday saying it will arrive between 9 and 5–30 on Friday. at 8–30 the door goes… a man with a van and a clip board… sign here mate gives me a leaflet and an envelope containing the warranty and fucks off. No Laptop.

I phone the company and some Indian voice "split delivery mate, no worries will be there for 5 o'clock" 5 O'clock comes and I phone them back "still isn't here... where is it?" same Indian voice "be there by 5-30 mate" and hangs up.

Come 6 its still not here… and the office is shut for the weekend. I email and recieve no reply on Monday and call up about 9–30 "hi, where is it" and after about 10mins on hold a little old lady (annoyed, I couldnt shout and abuse her) "its been delivered" _"no it fucking aint sunshine"_ "oh ok. yes its down for delivery today" _"nice to see its next day delivery then.. only what 4 days late"_ "sorry hun"…. yeah that makes it better.

I needed the laptop for some work i was doing away this weekend, so now im swamped with work, and at 12 o'clock monday… the laptop that should have arrived at 11 today like i was informed, has it come?

has it bollox


March 08, 2005

My 3 Favourite Words

Lacking the time at present to have an imagination, im just going to steal things off other peoples blogs. And as ever my source of whimsy Miss Victoria Sara (not a typo, she does spell it like a moron) Galloway, has popped up with this little trend.

So my 3 favourite words:

(1) Kunt

Still carries the same venom in everyday use as its more disgustingly spelt alter-ego c*nt. Personally I prefer to use this one purely because it rolls off the tongue and has much flexibility. It can be used in a variety of different forms:

noun "you daft kunt" (a form of abuse or endearment)
adjective "you kuntin' fool" (as a replacement to its more popular cousin f*ck)
verb "I was absolutely kunted" (let you work out your own meanings for it)

(2) Dichotomy

A word which litters my psychology essays from start to finish. Dichotomy is hardly used by other members of the Benefactors crew, and personally i find this a massive disappointment. Having struggled to explain to several of them what it actually means, i feel they have no excuse. Especially since I used the phrase:
"I dunno what it bloody means, I just know when to bloodywell use it"

(3) Cafuffle

I know its not a word of my own creation. And i know its not original. But Little Britain thrust (another kewl word…yes I am a Freudian) this word upon me and I try to use it whenever I can to describe an arkward situation!


March 02, 2005

Regret No. 1

Ever fancied ordering pizza at midnight, the perfect way to sustain an all night cramming session? Well this was shared by me and 3 other people last night, and around 12–30 the DeMaggios man arrived with 4 supersized pizzas (Buy one get one free).

Turned out that due to other peoples vegetarian diets and other preferences we had 2 Margheritas, a Mexicano (very spicey) and a Kebab Special…

Now eating a pizza covered in chilli sauce and donnor meat, along with one covered in spicy jalapino peppers is not a good idea at 1am. Although the taste can only be described as lush the morning effects arent!

The phrases "ring of fire" and "could shit through the eye of a needle" come to mind… I dont think my arse has ever hurt so much… how to gay people do it?!


March 2005

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