All entries for Monday 21 November 2005
November 21, 2005
So I've been a little late with starting the blog again this year, but hell thats just how it is. Sometimes life is more important than this?
Mainly really writing again to get things sorted in my head. Late night rant anyone?
Ever had that feeling when you just feel completely isolated to everyone else? Just feel like there is only you and if you vanished tomorrow noone would notice? Thats how I feel at the moment.
Break ups, and ex's – replaced within moments? How can everyone replace eachother so quickly? It seems I can be replaced faster than anyone else! A break up and within days with someone else, a matter of hours is more essential than days. Maybe not even 72! am I that bad?
Friendship? Right now housemates seems a frightful optimisitic. Housepersons possibly? Thats all it seems to have become.
I live with people seems to be a stark contrast from what it was in the first place. Did these people even want to live with me in the first place? Now it seems they cant wait to get out of the room when I'm there? Stupid Paranoia? Do I do something to make them uncomfortable? what is it? Am I merely overthinking or does the fact I could go missing and not leave my room for a day and not be noticed gone mean nothing?
Its tempting it really is just to run away. See how long it takes for someone to notice I'm gone. I bet I could be gone days before someone even thought "I wonder where that guy we live with has gone"
Everyone else seems to have it easier, where have I gone wrong?
Alone… not even the half of it!!