Facts you should know
I feel we're at a special point in our relationship, and its probably the time to tell you some hometruthes about Me
1. I am not a nice person; i heat my home by burning small children.
2. Often i can have violent moodswings which leaves me hating everyone within a 10 metre radius where as previously i'd have gone to bed with them at a pinch.
3 If you are a lady i will have looked at your chest. Its a natural reflex. I'm looking right now infact.
4. I often do'nt shave aand then i look like jack the ripper.
5. I wouldn't think twice about stealing you're wallet or possibly your scalp
6. I make rude, foul and graphically disturbing joke
7. Paul is a twofaced scumwanker
8. When claiming to be a friend i havr on more than one occasion been sued under the Trades Descriptions act
9. I want to dissolve all those who display public signs of affection, in vats of sulphuric acid; whilst playing cliff richard records at high volume
10. I like to march around in a nazi uniform whilst worshipping Belzeebub.