October 05, 2008

Monday 29th

The tech rehearsal. I had mixed feelings about the tech, i was both excited and apprehensive. Excited at the prospect of shooting Ben Jacobs and to see how the play fitted together but also nervous. What if it didn't come together? What if it was too ambitious?

Well it did come together. It took five hours, almos seven times longer than the forty-five minute show and it was exhausting. Yet it threw up major issues such as the stage not closing together which we sorted.

In terms of firing the gun, I have to honest and say I was pretty terrified. I've never fired a gun before. I'm a Quaker and as such hate pretty much all violence, so the idea of shooting someone was pretty difficult (a complete reversal of my earlier bravado, just shows what holding a gun can do). As well as the moral dilemma it's also bloody difficult to fire, and when it does fire it makes one hell of a noise. We practiced it five times till I got used to it. It's not just the noise. It's the smell of the gunpowder, the feel of the gun as it goes off. All these things combine to make the act of firing a gun horrible. And yet in films they shoot t each other all the time with no hesitation. I guess the immediacy of it is what's frightening. But I can tell you this I don't know whether i'd be able to fire a real gun.

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