All entries for October 2005
October 18, 2005
I have doubts about a friendship. It has been at the back of my mind all these years. Sometimes I just wonder if it is worth even to continue being subject to such hurt. So many seasons have passed yet it is still there. A hurt that has ceased to hurt because the cut so deep.
I always thought I could forgive
but forgetting it seems almost impossible.
I am sick of all the hypocrisy. I am sick of all the pretence.
All this time of being tolerant and all forgiving.
How long more can I carry this on?
Perhaps only when I reach the end of the road.
My heart could feel the end so near.
Is this how it should all end ?
Looking at the positive side, perhaps all of this is meant for the best.
God must have intended this for His own reasons.
I shall seek not my own understanding
but let His will be done unto mine.
October 16, 2005
God has His own way of sending us a special delivery everyday in our lifes. The fast pace of life sometimes just makes us fail to realise that He in fact is watching over us with our every heart beat. I can feel God's love through the warmth of the friends and family I have here on earth.
Ma cousine, Ferny et son mari..
It was great to see them both. They were experiencing the same feelings I had when I was a fresher. First time away from home, the excitement of seeing the leaves turn yellow and orange.
Ferny's hubby is doing a phd in London and they came here for the weekend. It was great to see them, to speak to them in my not very good mandarin which they understood. It feels great to have real family here. Being older and living near me, means she have to watch over me sometimes when I was a child. She played games with me. I still remember we used to have make shift kitchen in her garden and cooked Leaves and mud. That was when my cooking practise started!
They loved Warwick Uni and think it is awesome. I never thought it is that great but hey maybe it really is. I think I will miss this place when I leave next year.
Sunday dinner with Stella…
We had a good chat over a cup of tea. It is great to know someone that you can talk to. Someone who is truly sincere and a heart which is so kind. I have been praying to God over some things that have happened in my life and tonight's conversation with Stella was as if God answered all those questions I had. This might sound absurd to some people but I feel God made this happen and we get to share our experiences and look at it in the perspective that He meant for us to understand.
Even though I only know Stella for a few weeks, I feel like she is an old friend. It is just so strange when something like this happens. You just click and share the same frequency.
Thanks so much Stella for listening. God has His plans for you and stay the special girl that you are.
October 14, 2005
Watched this French film with Stella tonight.
Have been looking forward to watching this after hearing so much about it from Ef (who is obssessed about it). It was pretty good movie. Very fast paced. Very typical French movie with loads of ironies, extremely dramatic and avec some French humour. You just don't know to hate the characters or to love them.
Now I want to read the book because I have a feeling the book would be much much better than the movie. Movies can never really potray good books because that is not possible. Movies are almost always a disappointment if you have read the book.
Looking back at my day, it has been a very crazy day. Starting with the fire drill at 7am! Which gave me a headache afterwards.
Had an hour of very stimulating lecture on International Financial Reporting Standards in accounting followed by 2 hours of very good presentations and debate on Sexual Harrassment in the workplace.
Went to tescos with Stella. Then she made us diner of Rougaile or something. Sorry can't remember it even though she spelt it to me several times in French and also English.
It was yummy.. Merci beaucoups chere Stella!! Tu es tres gentil !!!
Nous sommes alle au cinema.
After that we had ice cream. Then we took a walk for some fresh air and ended up in tesco again. We tried not to buy anything but I spent even more than my first trip. This is bad !
On a happier note, I got my very first iron!! All my clothes are badly crumpled from storage and desperately in need of ironing.
Excusez moi, I have to go do some ironing now…
October 12, 2005
.. to Andrew!
We had diner at Xananas ( is it Shanana or Zanana?). I thought the food was awful, service ok, but the waffle was not bad.
Leaving Xanana was when the fun started, we played pool and table footie both of which I sucked. It was weird, Rootes was packed with people watching England play Poland and there we were screaming at our footie table, totally into our game.
Then we headed back to our kitchen and the best food of the day. The cake..loved the fruit cake…
The icing made us all very hyper afterwards. Some of us were singing X'mas carols and old old hymns. Some were playing frisbee along the corridor. It has been a very fun night, now is back to reality of having 5 hours of classes 9am till 5pm tommorow. I know it might sound a bit crazy but I actually enjoy my classes this year. I think the lecturers are all really good this year. Oh ya and I watched Pride and Prejudice before dinner. I still think Colin Firth is the Darcy. The movie was pretty good but I still think the BBC one was better. And my fave part in the movie when Darcy said ' I love, love , love you…' to Lizzy. It was not just I love you but I love, love ,love you… three times… better stop before I get too carried away here.
October 11, 2005
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Like my father's come to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when Septmber ends
Ring out the bells again
Like we did when spring began
Wake me up when septmber ends
Like my father's come to pass
Twenty years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends
October 08, 2005
It is one of those books that I weren't too sure it was worth reading.
I have heard so many varied reviews about it. It has been praised. It has been condemned.
And so I read it.
Just finish it this morning.
I have to say Dan Brown is a very good writer. The book is truly a riveting read. Very thriling. A page turner indeed.
I think we have to read this book with an open mind. As a Catholic, I am not offended by what he wrote. Everyone is free to express themselves but I do feel that there is misrepresentation. The front pages before the story started, it was writen that 'All description of artwork, architecture, documents and secret rituals in this novel is accurate.' This could actually lead people to believing that the story is a true story when in fact it is a book of perhaps some true facts woven cleverly with fiction so gripping and believable. It could be misleading and only further strengthen some people's view that religion is all but a facade. It is amazing how one can twist part of the Biblical stories into such an extreme.
But the book did made me think. And I do agree with the part where he wrote, history is but what powerful men made us believe. I love history at school but sometimes I do wonder if perhaps it is part lies.
The bible is very much a history book. Could it be part lies too? This book made me question my faith! And I realise I am but a mere mortal with little faith.
Now that I have seen one side of the story, I would like to see the other side of the story. Apparently there is a documentary which falsifies claims that were writen by Dan Brown in this book.
I guess at the end of the day, it still boils down to what you truly believe. As for me,I still believe in God and all I pray for is to have greater faith and a simple wish to be a good person with a clear conscience through this very short life here on earth.
October 06, 2005
This time is the Singapore Society potluck.
I know I am not Singaporean but have to be good neighbours and maintain good bilateral relationship across the straits. Potluck is a great way for that and maybe the politicians of Singapore and my beloved country should try having some potluck parties too!
Anyway.. I made biscottis with Stella . C'est Italienne et c'est tres delicieuse! Merci beaucoup, mon chere amie!! It is my first time making these really good chocolate Italien biscuits.
Fel made cheese cake which I didn't get to take a pic of because my camera's battery died. It was yummylicious.
Daffy made Radish Cake. It tasted so good with her grandma's chilli. Oooh man.. Then there were also loads of curries and ice cream.
A pic of the potluck after my camera got recharged!Not a very good pic but the food was really good.
A pic of the 3 of us without Daffy who was busy being a good President..
Mais c'est impossible that Daffy didn't take any pics..
Je presentee Daffy et Stella – deux toilette-amies!!
It was really fun potluck. As we were walking back to Claycroft … we stumbled unto the question ' The advantages of being a woman..' and I seriously can't think of any but Stella came up with a good one, we get to give birth, which is the most beautiful thing in the world. I agree that giving birth is amazing thing but it is still so much easier to be a man.
October 04, 2005
I thought about phone call home today where dad and mum were saying they couldn't get off to come for my graduation if it were in July and that even if I deffered it to January they might still not be able to make it. But mum said dad will certainly come if I get a first class. What the hell!!
Then, I saw this guy who I know, smiled but he just walked passed me. I prefer to think it was dark and he didn't see me. I don't know if anyone have this problem. I always hesitate when I see people that I think I know from somewhere but haven't seen them for ages, not sure if they still remember me, should I say 'Hi do you remember me?' or should I just wait and see if they remember me or should I just act cool and whatever la.
I remember telling dad this problem I had when I was at church ages ago. I smiled at people that I thought I knew but they just ignored me. Ouch! Dad say maybe I didn't Smile the right way, perhaps I was only grinning. So I looked at the mirror and tried to smile and not grin but hey the kinda grin is my natural smile. Anyway, after a while I just thought people are just so unfriendly, I stopped smiling as much and then I heard people say me aloof. Oh man, what the hell..
In my first year at uni, I always see this girl who smiles back at me all the time even though I don't know her. Guess who this girl is? Miss Singapore Daffy! I didn't know her name until 2nd year but actually I already knew her as the 'smiling stranger' as a fresher.
Anyway, I guess it is still worth smiling at people. Never mind they don't remember you. But my smile is stilll very much more like a grin most of the time. I guess it is a protective mechanism, if people don't smile back, just take it that I didn't smile but I grinned.
October 03, 2005
… The Potluck!
Had a cosy potluck at Daffy's kitchen yesterday.
The circle of friends is just amazing!
Got to know Fel on my first year through Ef who was Shu's friend.
Then 2nd year got to know Daffy who is Fel's buddy.
Then this year got to know Stella who is Daffy's loo-mate here in Claycroft. And we are all from different countries. There is Miss Indonesia Fel, Miss Singapore Daffy and Miss Mauritius Stella. And we travelled miles and miles.. and here we meet in Warwick to be Friends for life! How can anyone not believe God's amazing grace when such amazing things like friends He bring into our lives!
In order… from left to right… Fel , Daffy and my New Friend Stella!
Stela and Fel taking pics of the yummy 'random'(tofu,mushroom and vermicili) thingy that Fel made and Master Chef Fel ( who is very humble and keep saying her food is not good, whatever 'la'..)
Daffy's Laksa which as always up to standards .. Awesome man..
Stella's alouda, special drink from Mauritius! It was awesome to drink it after Daffy's laksa..
And I made some random stuff (inspired by Fel)..
I thought Fel's the craziest person in Warwick that I know… but then I met Daffy who is kinda like Fel's twin.. then now Stella!! They are like triplets !!! It was fun just chilling out with them and laughing at their amusing antics.
Thanks guys for the dinner… Looking forward to more potlucks!
Oh ya and gonna bake Biscotti on Wednesday.. bring it on man…
Despite the happiness of all the food and friends here in Warwick. I am saddened by the news of the second Bali bombings in Indonesia. My aunty was supposed to go there with her family for a holiday last weekend but postphoned it to attend a family wedding.
It is all so sad. Why are humans so cruel as to harbour such hatred and evilness ?? Is there really hope for a better world ?? The world just seems to be getting more and more screwed everyday...
October 02, 2005
Got tagged by Miss Daffy…
This time is childhood food memories
Let me think, childhood food memories..
1. Half boil egg – I still love it till today. I remember mum used to get those really fresh farm eggs and we would have them half boiled in the morning for my breakfast before I go to school. There are so many ways that she did it… dip it with bread, eat it with instant noodles, or just eat it as it is with a cuppa Milo ( Malaysian cocoa.).
2. Mee Suah – This is something which my hometown is famous for. It is special noodles called mee suah which is cooked with gravy, meat as well as seafood plus veg. I remember dad would buy them for supper during Chinese New Year when everyone is home. He used to do it when we were all like younger, he doesn’t anymore maybe cause he knows I will not eat anything after diner. But it was always eagerly awaited and the whole extended family will be eating them merrily.
3. Orange sweet with salt in it – Grandma used to buy them for us kids if we told her we did well in our exams or whenever she goes to the shop. I haven’t had that for ages, not sure if there are still any in sold. When I was a kid, you can get 3 sweets for 10sens which is like 1pence. I just love the taste of sweetness and saltiness mixed together. It is hard to imagine unless you try it.
4. Pickled Mango – I love pickled mango, when I was a little girl, there was a mango tree in the garden and grandma would always make pickle. There is no mango pickle like grandma’s pickle. I hated it when she would not let me eat it until the whole extended family is home. Being the naughty me, I would sneak into the kitchen when she is not around and secretly have some. And once I thought the coast was clear but then suddenly I heard her coming, I had to quickly hide in the toilet with a mouth full of pickles. I had too much that I develop stomach gastric. A few years after grandma died, dad made some pickled mango. It was good but still far, far from grandma’s pickled mangoes.
5. Curry Chicken – Mum’s specialty dish. She cooks it so often and everyone just loves it. I grew up eating it and no other curry would taste as good ever to me. Her curry is really hot and spicy. I remember my face would go all red eating it when I was a little girl. When I went home last summer, she added loads of veggie just for me because she knows I don’t eat chicken. Mum’s the Best!
ok now, got to tag people to do this … The 5 lucky people –
Sing Cher, Vicky, Charlene ( Sing Cher please tell her she has been tagged), Mus, and Shu Bei!