A Paradox

I realize that I am the most uncompetitive person. Played badminton today, I feel really stress playing today. There seem to be expectation. Expectation so high that I fear I am not up to it. I kept missing my shots today. I played really badly today. I am not sure if I did the right thing by putting myself into a commitment to play the mixed tournaments next term. I feel like backing out. I love playing but I can’t play competitively I get nervous and scared. I am just not a competitive person. I don’t care about winning or losing but yet I want to do well, and not let whoever I play with down by not trying hard enough
As I rode my bike back home, I thought of a long time ago conversation I had with an old friend. Life is really ironic. It is a paradox. The person you like almost always seem so far and distant. On the other hand you don’t really like the person who likes you.
How many people would actually wait? And how many would actually just take the easier way and be loved instead of to love? Is it fair to be loved more and not to love as much in return?
Life is never as straight forward as it should be.

: 23 Nov 2005 22:45 |  Comments (2) |  Report a problem