All entries for Tuesday 18 October 2005

October 18, 2005


I have doubts about a friendship. It has been at the back of my mind all these years. Sometimes I just wonder if it is worth even to continue being subject to such hurt. So many seasons have passed yet it is still there. A hurt that has ceased to hurt because the cut so deep.
I always thought I could forgive
but forgetting it seems almost impossible.
I am sick of all the hypocrisy. I am sick of all the pretence.
All this time of being tolerant and all forgiving.
How long more can I carry this on?
Perhaps only when I reach the end of the road.
My heart could feel the end so near.
Is this how it should all end ?
Looking at the positive side, perhaps all of this is meant for the best.

God must have intended this for His own reasons.
I shall seek not my own understanding
but let His will be done unto mine.

October 2005

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