All entries for Tuesday 04 October 2005

October 04, 2005

A grinning smile

As I walked back from work today, my head was swimming with random thoughts. The Symphony Ochestra which I heard at work was still very much in my head. ( BTW they were awesome as always.)
I thought about phone call home today where dad and mum were saying they couldn't get off to come for my graduation if it were in July and that even if I deffered it to January they might still not be able to make it. But mum said dad will certainly come if I get a first class. What the hell!!
Then, I saw this guy who I know, smiled but he just walked passed me. I prefer to think it was dark and he didn't see me. I don't know if anyone have this problem. I always hesitate when I see people that I think I know from somewhere but haven't seen them for ages, not sure if they still remember me, should I say 'Hi do you remember me?' or should I just wait and see if they remember me or should I just act cool and whatever la.
I remember telling dad this problem I had when I was at church ages ago. I smiled at people that I thought I knew but they just ignored me. Ouch! Dad say maybe I didn't Smile the right way, perhaps I was only grinning. So I looked at the mirror and tried to smile and not grin but hey the kinda grin is my natural smile. Anyway, after a while I just thought people are just so unfriendly, I stopped smiling as much and then I heard people say me aloof. Oh man, what the hell..
In my first year at uni, I always see this girl who smiles back at me all the time even though I don't know her. Guess who this girl is? Miss Singapore Daffy! I didn't know her name until 2nd year but actually I already knew her as the 'smiling stranger' as a fresher.
Anyway, I guess it is still worth smiling at people. Never mind they don't remember you. But my smile is stilll very much more like a grin most of the time. I guess it is a protective mechanism, if people don't smile back, just take it that I didn't smile but I grinned.

October 2005

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