May 12, 2005
May 05, 2005
May 01, 2005
April 23, 2005
I came back to home country, and started working as English teacher in high school. When I lived in UK, I usually thought about how to survive there in real life. I escaped in the toilet many times to make me relieved. My small flat or the river bank with duck's quack was the only peaceful home to me for a while. I missed Mother, sons, and missed any things which related with my home country, such as cherry blossoms, TV programmes, food and smell from the ocean…I had two main issues which survived in UK. They were language and money: Language barrier gave me so much frustration which might change my character, such as, one day, I was aggressive, another day, I was depressed. Then, money…Money was the another issue which made me suffered in survival. The solution about financial problem was clear, that is, working and not spending. As you know, if you walk in home country, neighbours, coleagues, or friends notice you as the member of the society, such as doctor, teacher, dentist, etc. That's why you might do your behaiviour carefully, for example, how you look like. But when I lived in UK, I was only a student who wanted to acqire the English competence well. Nobody knew me what I was, where I came. If I picked the penny from the pavement, if I wore a shirt for a couple of weeks without washing, anybody didn't care about my behaviour because we were only a students. The standard level of life wasn't high at all, but I was satisfied with my life eventually, because I have a free time whatever I wanted. If I wanted reading, I could continue reading all day. If I would like to write, I could think and continue writing for a week. If I wanted to work, I could continue working 20 hours a week without break. All of them were my choice, that why I loved my life eventually. When I started writing this story, it was the time when the dearest mother died. Through the story, I talked with her at any time and any places. When she was in the heaven, when she was near my place, I imagined her smile and saying. Then, I came back to my home country, though my heart was still remained in UK because all of my memories were so beautiful. When I met Father, sons and saw their relieved smile, I thought it was the correct decision to come back…Recently, I think about my mother many times, she used to say to me, 'Love is…to make somebody alive'. She made me alive, she made her husband alive, then, getting tired, she made herself released. That is, somebody needs to challenge their adventure or dream with somebody's help, on the other hand, somebody has to support to make him/her alive with love. Maybe, maybe, it's my turn….Rumiko'
April 08, 2005
When Makoto came here for the first time, he thought this issue seriously. The first kind of human is the person who gave up their dream and just survived in ordinary life, it means their happiness is talking with friends with beer or doing short trip by dmestic airline. 'I found a nice noodle shop near my house, New supermarket is near the police station.' They can find a happy things in daily life. That's why they come and leave school on time. The next is the person who worked very hard to organize their work system. Mostly, they are single and they believe their occupation is the mission which god gave. They worked early in the morning till late at night, even on Saturday and Sunday. The third group is the people who think to have chosen a wrong way. It means they think if they had a chance to quit their job, it would be a marvellous situation for them to escape their boring life.' 'Well, which side is my situation?' he thought while he was teaching.
April 03, 2005
March 31, 2005
'The first is the order that older man should die before younger one will die. For example, if the son died before his father did, we would call him undutifulness to his father.
The second is the one of happy life between child and his parents. It means the priority is the child's happiness among the family, and if only one glass of water was remained when mother and child lost their way in the desert, she would give it to her child for his happiness and survive, even if she would die there. Another example is that most parents don't care how hard they work, and how painful their back is for their hard work, because the success in their child's career with parents' financial support or making their child famous is their pleasure and pride. So, that happiness produces parents' motivation and full of energy to work, then, it's their happiness as well.
The third is the order between man and woman. Though you will have an opposite opinion against me, I still believe that the world has an order between man and woman. For example, woman will follow the man when the couple walk together. Another example, man starts eating firstly, before his wife eats. And general speaking, the happy situation between the couple is that man would pass away with his wife's care.
This is the order in the way of happy life. I'm not sure if you agree or not, but this order continued thousands years in my village, and I felt happy in my life following this order…'
From Makoto's diary
March 26, 2005
'I'll bring a bundle of pansies, violets, daisies and dandelions.
I'll bring a bascket of blueberries, strawberries, blackberries and raspberries.
Today is your birthday.
Today is your happiest day,
And we met together the special time that was the celebrated day.
Are you happy enough to love yourself?
Are you healthy enough to appetite?
Do you still believe god inside your mind?
When the strong wind is roaring outside, I fear how much your heart is frozen. If I were the eagle with two big wings, I would wrap you in my warm wings.
On the day of the heavy snow, I would cover you, changing me into a white bear.
In the heated summer, desert island, my figure would change to cool moisture in order to give you a fresh air.
I can do for you whatever you want.
I can go for you wherever you want.
I love you how much I can't say.
To be sad, I'm not with you…I can't hear your voice, can't see your smile, can't tell you how much I love you.
Today is your birthday, so..I'll become a east wind from east side in order to kiss your cheek.
From Ai to lovely son.'
March 25, 2005
'Greedy, creepy, weepy lady.
lived in the
tricky, sticky, picky house.
Funny, sunny, mummy face,
was jumping around
muddy, bloody, greasy space.
Then, greedy, creepy, weepy lady,
funny, sunny, mummy face,
in the muddy, bloody, greasy space.'