May 22, 2008

reflections

' Life' seems to be a very short word, but in in fact , it encapsulates so many events and happenings. When you say - LIFE, means such a big span of time, but when you live it, time flies ,a making life too short. We tend to forget our past very easily, as if it were just a one-day event, or a momentary thought. At the age of 20, we tend to forget, what small incidents led to our being today, and how those small things have made us different- different from others. Some dont even bother to go back and live those moments, and 'Respect' them. some believe, they would do that someday, but life is too short- 'short when you live it ,a nd not when you say it).  A man cannot always live in the past, but when those things come back in our subconscious mind, we yearn to go back and live them again once. 

I have come a long way. Long way - not by distance but where I used to be, and how things around me have changed. When I look back at things, when I was in my thirteens, I remember  the apartment we used to live in. Living as a joint family, in a small house, was so exciting. Not a single time, was there silence, and air was filled with chatter and televsion noise.. My two elder sisters, they were opposites, and we had assumed that our life was around each other. Now, I live in a bungalow, a huge house, - although it should sound more fun but it isnt - my sisters are married, and i dint realize their absence, until one night after my elder sisters marriage,  when I was not getting sleep and switched on the light to find didi and chat with her, about anything - esp mom's tantrums. They are into their respective lives, and so am I, but this dint seem to me, about 5 years ago.

When i return home, I cannot go into the parking lots, of the apartment, and play cricket, lock and key with my sisters and cousins. I cannot run with food stuffed into my mouth, and i cannot wait to go downstairs and play cricket with my apartment friends. Suddenly, these things make me feel that childhood is oozing of energy and is so vibrant, where as now, life is no more the same.  i feel so tied down,and wish if i could reverse time.


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