All 11 entries tagged Rubbish

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February 10, 2006

3 is Wank

Follow-up to This is like The Neverending Story from nathanielho :: blog

I'd like to apologise to my usual readers, but the expletives will now be brought out, as there are no other words in the dictionary to describe Hutchison 3-mobile UK.

Finally*, after 70 Days they have re-connected me (now THAT's service)! This makes the relability record of this phone line a staggering 50.7% (that's why it is wank). It all started off with my phone getting stolen, I asked for a simple request that was for a replacement SIM to be sent to me. Yes I would pay for it too…

I am absolutely livid after 70 days without service (during christmas & new year), whilst they continue to syphon money out of your account. It was only until I told Ofcom, and they sent a little email before they got the chief monkeys out to play. The monkey I was in contact with was a Glaswegian variety. I don't see why it takes 60 days before I finally get noticed???

And guess what? Chief Monkey says, little monkeys do. I got a replacement SIM card (I burnt the last one) in only a day, when the "executive office" requested it. So otherwise if I hadn't contacted Oftel, I'd be still waiting. And now they've connected me at day 70. Given "oh an extra 20 days free line rental" back - well that's ing jolly, flowers are sprouting out from behind my ears, World peace has Now been solved, Michael Jackson has grown a new nose - frikkin' marvellous!

I DON'T WANT YOUR CRAP SERVICE ANYMORE! I'VE ALREADY BOUGHT A CONTRACT ON A BETTER SERVICE THAT DOESN'T RUN ON PLAYSCHOOL COMPUTERS YOU TWITS. "Sorry sir, if you were to cancel your contract now, we wouldn't refund you anything." (Trading standards spring to mind). Grrrr

So what is the moral of the story children? Stay away from 3. Run away from their propoganda. Punch anyone who tries to sell you a phone on their UK network. (Unless you really like 50% uptime). This is the reality of how they treat their long-term customers (someone else had the same problem too). Get Vodafone 3G if you want video calling. O2 have good data rates. Their bureacratic hierarchy is set up wrong and is made up of the wrong species. They found a loop-hole in Darwin's Theory of Evolution back in 50,000 BC and exploited it, and that is why we have animals like that running phone networks today.

January 31, 2006

This is like The Neverending Story

Follow-up to Knobs from nathanielho :: blog

Diablolical: day 61 without service.

  • Since then I have borrowed Chris's Orange SIM for 2 months £60
  • PAYG £20
  • Replacement SIM card £17.50
  • 2x Months Bills = £70
  • endless calls to 3 customer service £££
    but don't forget! 3-mobile gave me 5 back! so its all ok!

Well one of their monkeys called me up during a lecture, and didn't understand "Call me back at 5, I'm in a lecture." So I just left him on speakerphone listening to Dr Jan Rakels explaining mechanics.

So another person who has got this exact problem contacted me through my blog today. And I think we both have no ideas what to do next, with OfCom taking 3months for complaints, I think the next step is to find a lawyer to sue their asses! I did tell BBC Watchdog as well.

So here's Dr Nathaniel's Easy guide for 3-mobile troubles

  • Tell Ofcom
  • Tell 3, you've told Ofcom – they'll give you an extra £10 as a "goodwill" gesture
  • Force them to sim-unlock your phone for free, or get a friend to do it – to let you put another network's SIM card in.
  • Write a complaint letter to 3.
  • Burn your SIM card
  • Tell BBC Watchdog
  • Tell Trading standards
  • Tell 3 you're gonna sue them.
  • Get a Lawyer to sue them
  • Oh and bastardise them every oppourtunity on your blog
    And if they reconnect you within that period, DON'T accept anything less than 6 months free line rental…. THEN sue them.

Anyone know a good lawyer? Otherwise I'll be left with a couple of undergrads!

January 26, 2006


Follow-up to Torture of the 3–SIM card from nathanielho :: blog

knob n.
A rounded protuberance.

A rounded handle, as on a drawer or door.
A rounded control switch or dial.
A prominent rounded hill or mountain.
3 Mobile Hutchison Telecommunications
[Middle English knobbe, from Middle Low German, knot in wood.]

Hmm their 3–5 days to send a SIM card from last Wednesday has passed, and I am still not in posession of it.
But they had no problem sending me another bill for £35 again on Monday this week, and it duly arrived Thursday.

Urban Dictionary definition

On a positive note, Chris has now connected me to o2 on a contract that will leave me paying a net 0 :D I get a Nokia 5140 Brick and a Motorola Bluetooth Headset.

January 19, 2006

Torture of the 3–SIM card

Follow-up to Monkey men run UK Phone network from nathanielho :: blog

After spending 24hrs in a freezer at -22degC. The SIM was removed and thrown into boiling water. The criminal SIM 8944xxxxxxxxx7444 refused to go down quietly and still seem to be able to communicate with a phone (just never with the network – its crime).

So the justice department had no choice but to carry out the following torture methods:

This SIM card (property of Hutchison 3) had it comingScorched

January 18, 2006

Monkey men run UK Phone network

Follow-up to Giving 3 mobile the 2–fingers from nathanielho :: blog

… result? no service for 47 days! Now That's Customer Satisfaction!

Hey don't call 0870 numbers, especially if its to the mongs at 3-mobile. Call the customer services on 0800 358 6795. And make them pay.
Rachel suggested that I should threaten to call them on their 0800 number for every second I'm disconnected. So that's

47 days = 1128 hrs = 67,680mins

even at a lowly cost of 2p/min

that's a phone bill of 67,680×2p = 1353
(thanks Chris S for spotting the mistake)

Hmmm also sent a complaint letter to their Hutchison 3 UK HQ in Maidenhead and a few phone calls. Turns out they're going to send me a new SIM card. Yippe doo wee. All is great. You can just see flowers sprouting out from behind my desk and singing birds are perched on my shelf.
Except being the mongs they are, they sent it back home without telling me.

Now to decide the fate of the last SIM card they sent me. Death by 10KV or microwave? What do you think?


Stay tuned to find out what happens to the criminal SIM 8944xxxxxxxxxx7444

January 13, 2006

Giving 3 mobile the 2–fingers

Follow-up to 13 calls to 3–mobile, 0 calls made on 3–mobile from nathanielho :: blog

Unlocked by Chris Pursell and holding his spare Orange SIM.

Yey! free from SIM-locks! (can't be unlocked my arse!) This is definately something 3 mobile doesn't want to see. Contract Orange SIM inside thanks to Chris Purssell (voted Bloke of the Week and Benefactor of the Month by this website). Yeah, Chris has random spare SIMs with 200 free mins to donate to charity cases like me.

This is the first time the phone has worked in 43-days – no thanks to monkeys at 3.

January 12, 2006

13 calls to 3–mobile, 0 calls made on 3–mobile

Follow-up to I Envy People with Phones that work from nathanielho :: blog

Downtime: 42 days

Right today I have submitted my complaint (about 3-mobile service) to Ofcom. Hopefully they will give them a right bashing. Endless calls on behalf of my case have already been made by the wonderful people at The Link (thanks Chris! - and I'm a Carphone customer!).

On another note, today Chris brought in his Vaio and phone cable, and we had a mass phone SIM-unlocking session. The lucky phones were:

The other Chris' SEM K700i (locked on Orange)
Rob's old SEM T610 (locked on Orange)
And my SEM K608i (locked on 3)

Mine was the most experimental (3mobile said they didn't even have codes for it). Seeing that unlocking phones can go wrong. It would literally make or break mine! But success! Chris has saved me a lot of money (that would have gone into 3's pocket - we don't want that do we). And finally my K608i was no longer a glorified glow brick, and works with my Orange SIM.

January 07, 2006

I Envy People with Phones that work

Follow-up to Enough is Enough from nathanielho :: blog

Sorry your account does not allow you to make calls

They've now sent me a £47 phone bill for 12 days use. Chris P is going to bitch at 3 for me today when he goes to work. He said he hasn't moaned at them for a while – need to get it out the system.

On a better note, Vision Express have sent me a new pair of replacement Oakleys :D and the monthly ration of contacts.

January 06, 2006

Enough is Enough

Follow-up to Day 32 of the Vendetta against 3 mobile from nathanielho :: blog

At precisely 2.14am this morning, whilst lying awake in bed, I had a brainwave. Basically, after last night's call, it seems I'll never get reconnected to 3 (sorry sir, there's nothing we can do, it'll be another 48 hours...) – on the basis they are a useless bunch of monkeys.

I have now found my airtime agreement and would now like Hutchison 3 to prematurely (month 4 of 12) invoke Section 10: Ending this agreement and Disconnection of 3 Services part (c):

No network access or 3 services. We may end your agreement if… we are no longer able to provide 3 Services due to factors beyond our control…

[Because we can't seem to give people the ability to MAKE A DAMN PHONE CALL and we are a bunch of especially dumb breed of monkeys that Darwin's theory of evolution forgot about]

I think I've been patient enough, living over a month (of holidays)without the phone. I think I'll join another network that actually allows people to make phone calls. Now that's a great concept!

January 03, 2006

Day 32 of the Vendetta against 3 mobile

Follow-up to DON'T mention 48hrs from nathanielho :: blog

Downtime: 32 days

Since my last call on the 30th Dec. My phone demoted itself from useless to even more useless (now that's called progress!). On New Year's Eve I was shocked to see that it finally displayed 3 instead of inactive SIM (which I had gotten accustomed to for the past 29 days). But it seems my SIM card no. got "stuck in their system" and I was thus still unable to make any calls or connections. So instead of simply displaying the fact it was useless with inactive SIM, it was masquerading as a phone that worked. Useless Useless USELESS!!!

shove that SIM card 8944xxxxxxxxxxx…..... [censored]


...and breathe

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