All entries for Saturday 02 December 2006

December 02, 2006

Watching This Movie WILL damage your health

Movie image
Napoleon Dynamite
Not rated

Oh my gosh. This is by far the worst “comedy” movie I’ve ever seen. You will want the last 86 minutes of your life back. Hence it gets ZERO stars out of five. It was the biggest waste of time I have come across. If you are even thinking about watching this movie, don’t. I suggest the following alternative activities which are much more worthwhile:

1. Find the worst movie you have ever seen (e.g. Spice Girls The Movie) and watch it three times over.
2. Observe a person who is watching paint dry.
3. Listen to James Blunt/Westlife/The Carpenters on constant repeat.
4. Cutting the grass on your lawn with a razor blade.
5. Take a dump for 86 minutes.

Maddy recommended this “cult” movie. John, Paul and I sat through it all. We had a strange feeling that the joke was on us. And that Maddy was making us three idiots watch this worst excuse of a movie whilst she went to bed… laughing in histerics. It turns out she does actually like the movie a lot. We really need to sort her and anyone else who likes it, and BEAT them with a sensibility stick. It wasn’t the slightest bit funny. If it had been slapstick, it would been funnier. Was it an in-joke? Schoolboy joke? They weren’t original.

Picture the scene: a nerd riding a mountain bike jumps on a ramp….

(are you in hysterics yet?)



...86mins later

(how about now???)

I’ve read better jokes on the back of a Penguin bar. It can only be summed up by what Paul said when the extra scene came on after the credits.

I’m not watching that. Life’s too short

John: 0/5
Paul: 0/5
Me: 0/5

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