April 27, 2005

I have to get this off my chest

What is wrong at warwick uni?? Life is hard enough, career path, study-fun balance, making friends, becoming independent, pursuing your own interests….blah blah blah. This all has to be sorted out, on top of that comes the inevitable task of finding a partner with whom to share life, it can't be that hard, ppl have done just this century upon century i hear you cry. True i say, but not all have attempted it at warwick university.
….get to the point…
I am currently a single man, on the look out for a lovely young lady with which to spend time, share experiences and generally enjoy my youth…of course one day marriage and kids seems to be the norm to which i aspire, for now i would be content with a girlfriend and am happy to pursue such a course of action.
On the trail of love, i like many others make mistakes, get shot down and wonder about this and that, how to best go about finding a girl and ive met many a hurdle.
The norm, or at least the accepted practice is for the man to approach the woman, attempted in reverse apparently is just not done! Anyway, at the bar in cholo last year – yes its that big a deal for me that i bring it up all this time later, i was stood next to a very pretty girl. I thought why not say hi, offer to buy her a drink and see how things go. Now, i wasn't expecting this to go well, i was expecting to be shot down rather quickly, and so i was – sorry to disappoint all those who thought the good would win!! The manner in which it occurred is where i have encountered a problem. I simply turned to the girl at the bar and said

"Hi, i'm Neil, how are you, would you like a drink"

She said "fuck off".

Now am i wrong, or is this not the reponse my question deserved. I realise i'm no oil painting and i realise she probably didn't fancy me, i acknowledge she may have had a boyfriend or that she was going through a tough personal time…i have no idea why she reacted the way she did, but it upset me, i didnt get a drink, i returned to my table and pondered. All i can put forward now is my opinion. I personally would be flattered if a girl said hi and wanted to spend time with me. Under no circumstances can i conceive of my reply being "fuck off". I may not fancy the girl, i may have other immediate plans, but i would have the common decency to be civil and polite.

This incident although insignificant to an outsider really took me a-back, i didnt approach any girls for some time after. More fool me; maybe, but it truely hit my confidence. It was not only upsetting but ultimately disturbing for me. Clearly she wasnt right for me, so i'm not missing out there, but what if the next girl i approach says the same??
She wouldn't i hear you cry, well i'm not so sure, i've received some rather heartless looks, stares and snide remarks from girls at warwick uni. I admit i am objectionable and moody etc, but i am nothing but polite when meeting ppl, why could this girl not extend the same courtesy?

This rant is running out of steam, all emotion and no structure i now realise, but this event hurt me. It would hurt anyone. I am a 4th year and i dare say this girl could have left the university by now, but if she hasn't, if she is at the union sometime later this term, if she by chance reads this entry i hope she remembers what she said and hopefully feels just a little guilty, or at least accepts in her own mind that her reaction was not warranted.

- 2 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. Take heart in knowing that one day she'll probably get wrinkly and die. Looks won't serve a pretty girl forever. One day, at least if they're a cow, they'll lose what they have and they'll wish that they were kinder.

    27 Apr 2005, 05:56

  2. I'm sorry, but that's just plain rude, whether it was a girl or a boy!! Honestly, most girls aren't like that–she may have been quite drunk. I'm awful at accepting drinks from men, simply because I don't expect it, and I kind of flounder. One thing I have noticed at Warwick is that people tend to be looking for a long term relationship, irrespective of the person. It's a common complaint among my female friends that every man they meet seems to be looking for marriage, when they may not necessarily be. Don't get too frazzled about it–the right person always come along when you least expect it, and university isn't the be all and end all of girls!!

    27 Apr 2005, 07:57

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