All entries for February 2005

February 28, 2005

Team News

We've have challenged Westside to a match at 4pm Friday 4th of March 2005
Venue: Tarkett

The Stallions are currently sitting 14th in the table, with the challengees in 10th.

I think we would all agree that it's a massive game, and the Stallions star defender NC has been quoted as saying "Well you're saying it's a massive game, but I think it's a magnificant one."

Team News as follows:

Absentees:
Daryl Jackson – general death*
Daniel O'Flynn – ankle related death*
David Pickles – on a hot man love date

Starting Line up from:
Daniel Baker
Owen Bellamy
Nathaniel Christopher
Mark Hadris
Stephen Pond

*not literally death


February 26, 2005

Stallion Social

The directors of Tardan Stallions PLC, in conjunction with the Tardan Stallion supporters association, have arranged a second social.

Date: Tuesday 8th March 2005
Time: 8pm drinking starts, (forfeits for late arrival)
Venue: The Bar
Chair: tbc

The Rules:
You must be willing to obey what the chair says, within reason. Also, please put your drinking boots on.


Reaction to Match 10:

"Nayfe- Big ball!" -David Pickles, commenting on Christopher's shorts presumably..
"You did a lot of sexual things on pitch today" – Stez
"etc etc" – Nayfe
"I'm having a shower now" – Nayfe again
"Why don't you just tell us your fucking life story" – Stez in response to Nayfe's post match comments.

Tardan Stallions Match 10: Stats and Facts

Tardan Stallions vs Mad Tramp
Played 10am Saturday 26th of February 2005
Venue: Westwood Astro Pitch 2

So it turns out Nayfe is a lazy tusk. He can't be arsed to write a match report – FACT! So what happened I hear you cry? Well we lost. Always the same. In this case it was 17–6 but it could have been worse, or better.

Being lazy also I can't really be bothered with writing a full report and my memory of the match is a little hazy. They scored the first, and to be fair it was a good finish leaving Baker on his return to goal no chance. A few moments later a long range bullet from Hadris went in off the post and it was 1–1. Even in the early stages the game was stretched but sadly the opposition's finishing was excellent while with Pond and Bellamy missing a couple of chances a piece. At half time it looked all over (and it was) at 8–1.

The Stallions came out with renewed vigor and in their traditional style took kick off and conceded a goal within about 30 seconds. The second half though had several positives as listed here:

  • Another Bellamy hat trick (the man is on fire… not literally)
  • A first ever Dave Pickles goal
  • An AMAZING 5 minute spell in goal from Stez (see my comment – no I'm not ashamed of the self-promotion)
  • No new injury worries.

A final note upon a certain special someone's request ;-) listed here are the negatives of the match:

  • We lost
  • Nayfe (as he was shit)
  • Naif (as he was crap)
  • Nathaniel Christopher (as he was a pile of turd)
  • NC Stallions super defender wasn't so super but in fact was SHIT

Starting Line Up:
Daniel Baker [GK]
Mark Hadris [c]
David Pickles
Owen Bellamy
Stephen Pond

Substitutes:
Nathaniel Christopher

Goal Scorers:
Mark Hadris (2)
Owen Bellamy (3)
David Pickles (1)

Man of the Match:
Debbie Simcock (in goal for the warm up and though this at first appears to not be much of a contribution it was far better than anyone elses aka we were shit!)

Anti-Man of the Match:
Daniel Baker (he volenteered himself though I think this is just so he can take the "1st ever Anti-man of the match" award at the end of season awards evening – he is crafty is that Dan)

Attendance 3:
Gabrielle Frith
Kimberley Goddard
Debbie Simcock


February 21, 2005

Team News

We've have been challenged by Mad Tramp to a match at 10am Saturday 26th of February 2005
Venue: Westwood Old Astro 2

The Stallions are currently sitting 11th in the table, with the challengers in 14th.

Team News as follows:

Missing through apathy:
Daryl Jackson
Daniel O'Flynn

Starting Line up from:
Daniel Baker
Owen Bellamy
Nathaniel Christopher
Mark Hadris
David Pickles
Stephen Pond


February 18, 2005

Reaction to match 9:

"Owen got a hat-trick? How cute!" – Debbie Simcock, on hearing about Owen's final goal, which she'd missed.
"That's ours!" – Anon, whenever the ball went out of play.
"The opposition were much like an elephant, in that they had a pair of tusks." – Nathaniel Christopher, on the 2 opposition players who didn't endear themselves to us.
"I have a lot of respect for him. He supports a team who think Graham "I'm a fucking piece" Taylor is a legend, yet has managed to stay sane. Fair play to the lad." – Manager Daniel Baker, making a comment on the oppositions' best player.

Tardan Stallions Match 9: Stats and Facts

Tardan Stallions vs JM Crusaders
Played 2pm Friday 18th of February 2005
Venue: Westwood Astro Pitch 1

With the rain coming down, the Stallions took to the pitch in their 9th match this season. After an initial bright start, sloppy defending by Christopher led to a goal. Christopher then came off, mumbling something, to be replaced by Baker. This left the Stallions a little short at the back*. A well taken kick in left Hadris in space, and he converted, leveling the score. However, as the attention turned to attack, the defending was not the best, and the opponents scored several soft goals. Pond came off for O'Flynn, who cut himself out a good opportunity, but failed to run on to the final ball. When the call came for half time, it was 5–1 to the home side.
The second half heralded the long awaited return of Baker in goal. Christopher came back on, and atoned for his earlier shabbiness by turning in a good performance. The combination of Hadris, Bellamy and Pond provided the crowd with some very entertaining football, and their persistance was rewarded with an excellent goal from Bellamy, with Pond unselfishly passing rather than going for glory, and Hadris providing the silky link-up play. Pickles came on for Hadris, and also played well up the flank, with a great opportunity coming to him, when the Stallions were 3 on 1. He took a dig from a tight angle, but it sadly went over. Another Bellamy goal, and a couple conceded, and the game was rounded off by Bellamy sealing his hat-trick.
Final Score 8–4

Starting Line Up:
David Pickles [GK]
Nathaniel Christopher
Mark Hadris [c]
Owen Bellamy
Stephen Pond

Substitutes:
Daniel Baker
Daniel O'Flynn

Goal Scorers:
Mark Hadris (1)
Owen Bellamy (3)

Man of the Match:
Nathaniel Christopher – For an assured performance in defence, and because he's not won it yet, and Owen's already had it twice…

Attendance 3:
Gabrielle Frith
Eloise Moir-Ford
Debbie Simcock

*NB: This is a hilareous pun. Think about it.


February 15, 2005

Tactic 5: Twat It

Punt it, run, shoot, SCORE!


Tactic 4: Corners

One player takes the corner and another stays back to cover any possible counter-attacks. This leaves two players to attack the ball at the corner. In general, the opposing team will have four players back defending: the box is likely to be congested. Therefore, the attacking players should start outside the box before making their runs. In this example the ball is drilled in low and hard, and the two attackers switch their positions: the right hand side player runs to the front, and the left hand side player runs to the back. This movement may confuse the defence, allowing the shot from the near post, or a shot or cross from the far post.


Tactic 3: Defending

The team is set up with a relatively “flat” back three, and a lone striker. Note how each defender is “goal-side” – directly between the attacking player and the goal. This principle should be applied at all defensive situations; it prevents the attacking player from a clear view of goal. The general aim of the defender should be to dispose the attacker of the ball. However, this is not always possible. If the defender cannot make a tackle, he should aim to shepherd or “jockey” the attacking player away from the goal and towards the touchline (arrowed), before making a challenge.


February 2005

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