All entries for January 2007

January 29, 2007

Typical Man Syndrome

Dear one and all – I can sit here and type and confess that I have a problem. I do suffer from TMS and I am not ashamed to admit it. In fact, just having something quintessentially manly about me provides me some comfort that maybe not all is wrong with me.

If you were sad/dedicated enough to scroll back through the annals of my blog, you would find that whenever I am stricken down with some horrendous ailment, it receives unwarranted blog coverage. I’d like to assure you that it won’t happen this time. I’d like to, but I won’t.

When I went to bed last night, I felt like shit warmed up, then chilled for a while, then consequently reheated. I had a fitful night of dreams of The West Wing, besides waking up numerous times to empty my bladder of the 13 pints of peach flavoured squash I imbibed during the course of a major WW marathon. When my alarm went off at 6.30am, I went about trying to get myself the day off school. For those of you who don’t know, I work one day at a secondary school observing German lessons. I’m not sure I managed to get through to anybody important and so they may just think I took it off for shits and giggles.

If asked to gauge my sickness, I would not rate it as dismissable as a cold. However, I have had the flu twice (the actual flu, people, not this thing people call th flu, knowing full well that there’s nothing wrong with them – when you have the flu you understand how people died of it) and I can assure you all that it isn’t quite as bad as a flu. So basically, I have a clu…or maybe a fold. And where does TMS come into it? I’ll tell you, guys and gals:

If I’m ill, if I have a scratchy throat, if my head is feeling a little blurry, people will know. People will be regaled of my entire medical history just to elicit some semblance of compassion. My friends roll their eyes if we get stopped along our path, as I tell person after person about how my life might as well stop until this thing has blown it’s course. In fact, your life might as well stop until I’m feeling better as well. There you have it – a textbook case of TMS.

That said, it doesn’t just have to be about being ill. When my glasses miraculously fell apart on Friday morning, after I finished weeping over the broken fragments of my life, I periodically went around telling everyone, shocking them with how I would have to spend £200 on a new pair. As it happens, they put a new arm on them for me, amounting to the total sum of £10 – a little less glamorous, I’ll admit, but it meant that I was able to consume aa tub of Haagen Dazs in its stead. In fact, I have a second in the freezer, so it wasn’t all bad!

Anyway – I suppose the point of this blog is to tell you all that I’m feeling sick (I hate the word poorly with a passion, so use it in reference to me at your peril) and want your sympathy. Also, as these blog entries get exported onto Facebook, even more people have access to it! Gifts can be sent via Tocil 34.

Mx


January 23, 2007

I'd Prefer To Castrate Myself Just To Have Something To Do

When one considers the rich heritage of the foreign film industry, thoughts turn to Bollywood or the works of artists such as Pedro Almodovar, Jean Renoir or perhaps even Franco Zefirelli. German cinema doesn’t really figure in the first things to spring to mind (I’m not about to relegate all German cinema to the trash – just a good portion of it).

I have just returned from having been subjected to the horror that is Ich war 19. Apparently a gritty war drama based on the memoirs of the director, Konrad Wolf, it fails to deliver. Big time. Not heard of it? Thank your lucky stars.

Counting the films that I’ve watched this year for my German Cinema module, I decided to try and list the films I’ve enjoyed. Out of a total of about 12 films, I’ve enjoyed 2. Perhaps, if I’m being liberal, 3. 3 out of 12 is not brilliant, I think you’ll agree. And what’s worse, is I’m pretty sure my lecturers are sat in their offices sniggering at the fact that they’re making us watch this tripe.

As I’m pretty certain what films I’m going to write on for my assessments, the rest of the term doesn’t seem too important to me at the moment, especially when I’m feeling as despondent about the module as I am now. When I consider spending 2 hours on Thursday afternoon discussing what I’ve just had to watch, I want to eat my own face. I went an entire term without missing a class. I return and suddenly my work ethic has gone and with regards to German cinema, I can pretty much assure you that it ain’t coming back! If I could drop it, I would without a second thought.


January 17, 2007

If Your Life Was A Film, What Would The Soundtrack Be?

Now, I don’t often indulge in these new facebook self-indulgent quizzes, but this one struck me as being quite a lot of fun to do, so here goes. This will prove once and for all that I have awful taste in music

“So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.”

Just in case you didn’t know anything about this, the bit in quotes above is all you need to know, in case you want to do it yourself and pass on the fun!

Opening Credits
Ebony Eyes by Stevie Wonder – quite a fun song to start, but I don’t have black eyes and I’m not a girl…still, let’s go with it

Waking Up
Stick To The Status Quo from High School Musical. This is going to be a gay movie.

First Day At School
Keep On by Will Young. Told you it’d be gay.

Falling In Love
Don’t Panic by Coldplay. Originally it was Children, Children from Bat Boy, but that has WAY too many connotations for my falling in love song.

Fight Song
Fall To Pieces by Razorlight. Not a bad song to fight to.

Breaking Up
Don’t Cry Baby by Madeleine Peyroux. So far these seem to be fitting quite well.

Prom
One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces by Ben Folds Five. I was a bit of an angry outsider kid, even at my prom. Well my first one. I rocked at the second one. At least, I thought I did.

Life
I Imagine You’re Upset from Bat Boy. Well, if that’s all I’m thinking when I look back on my life, it will have been a sad life. A gay one, but a sad one as well.

Mental Breakdown
Nil by The Cardigans. Have only just listened to it, but it’s moody and instrumental; a good song to have a mental breakdown to, if you have to, I suppose.

Driving
Not Coming Home by Maroon 5. I’m just going to keep on driving…

Flashback
Just Friends by Gavin DeGraw

Wedding
My Love by Justin Timberlake. My extremely gay wedding will apparently be accompanied by a wannabe black man. Well, I suppose each to his own. It would probably have been my partner’s choice, if I’m honest – I can think of better wedding songs.

Birth Of Child
Family from Dreamgirls. This really seems to be falling into place. My iTunes seems to fit the movie of my life. Apart from the whole paedophilia thing. That isn’t my life. Honest. Don’t trust the Arts Centre Staff, they don’t know anything about me!

Final Battle
Batti, Batti, O Bel Masetto from Mozart’s Don Giovanni – I can see my battle scene being in slow motion. But even this song’s title is gay.

Death Scene
For Once In My Life by Michael Bublé. That’s not funny.

Funeral Song
And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going from Dreamgirls. I’m going to stay and haunt you all, bastards!

End Credits
Goodbye Until Tomorrow/I Could Never Rescue You from The Last Five Years

Well, it’s all over and that fit scarily into it all. They all seem reasonably relevant for the events, I suppose! As much fun as this has been, and I’m sure you’ll agree, I’m off to bed! Night everyone! Come see my movie.

Mx


January 14, 2007

New Things

Well, after what must seem to everyone a week of pure, unadulterated drinking, I am ready to start Week 2 with guns blazing, and I have decided just to catch everyone up on what’s going on in my life at the moment.

Well, the soundtrack of the moment is that of Dreamgirls. Now, this may sound like a poorly-made Vietnamese adult movie, but it’s actually about a girl group trying to make it in America. It apparently closely resembles the rise of The Supremes, but I wouldn’t know anything about that, but it’s been made into a film with Beyoncé, Jamie Foxx and Eddie Murphy. Arguably the main character is played by a woman called Jennifer Holiday who came 3rd in a series of American Idol. Well, guys and gals, it’s really great. Really great. In fact, it’s my album of choice at present. In fact, as I write this blog entry, I’m listening to it for the second time today. The first time was at the gym.

That leads me nicely onto my second point – I’ve started going back to the gym. Having had 4 weeks off (including Week 1 back at uni – I had an essay. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it) I braved the accusatory stares and looks of abandonment from the staff who grew to know me so well. Actually, that’s a lie – I’m sure I was just another one of those overweight jobbies who came in to try and burn some fat off their overly flabby thighs, but still, I can dream. Well, it was full of these newbies who seem to have made the clichéd New Year’s Resolution of getting fit. God, guys! Get with the programme. Going to the gym is so passé – I mean, I’ve been doing it for an entire term! Unfortunately, I’m having to take it slower than I did at the end of last term, because I don’t actually want to injure myself.

Tomorrow heralds the start of a new event in my life. I start at Coundon Court School in Coventry tomorrow as an assistant German teacher. Originally I was supposed to be going with Lisa, but due to circumstances beyond her control, she can’t make it, so I’m having to brave it alone. In preparation, I have bought a suit, a shirt and a tie. Consequently, I have had to learn to tie a tie, which, at 21, I’m sure most people will think of as an abomination that I didn’t already know. But in my defence, my dad used to tie them for me. All through my school career. Not much of an excuse, yeah? So anyhoo – I can now tie a Windsor knot. Not too confident on the old Half Windsor, but apparently a Windsor knot indicates confidence, so what better one to have when I have to sit in a classroom full of kids for half of tomorrow who have no desire to learn German whatsoever?

As much as Dreamgirls may be the CD of choice, my current reading material is not madde up of what you would expect: some Goethe or Schiller, or perhaps even some Faulkner or Plath for my American Literature course. No, I am addicted to a blog. It’s written by a guy in America. I’m not sure I have anything really in common with him. He’s Jewish. I’m a lapsed Catholic (can I even say that? Should I just say I’m religionless, or just apathetic?). He lives in Southern California. Last time I checked Coventry isn’t anything like that. He has kids. I’m pretty darn certain I don’t. He has a Hot Wife. I pulled a minger on Thursday night just because I wanted to pull. So yeah, he blogs about fatherhood, picking his nose, farting, his bowel movements, his observations about Starbucks and his dependence on caffeine. However, he’s as funny as hell and quite often I find myself passing a little urine when reading his posts. His name is Daniel Evans and his blog is at www.dadgonemad.com so i recommend you go read it. I’m so sad and addicted that at the moment I’m working my way through all his archives. Judge me all you want, but I don’t give a rat’s ass!

Oh, I managed to do everything I needed to do today. I went to the gym. Yay. I went shopping for food (today was the first day I’ve been, despite being back at uni for over a week!). I did laundry. I did my ironing. And I’ve started my diet, especially after having eaten a dirty burger and soggy chips from Battered yesterday evening. Yeah, yesterday evening was really fun too! Gaz and I went to the Music Centre to play some tunes, sing some songs and shoot some shit (that’s not a euphemism, by the way). We ended up staying there for over 3 hours! Neither of us realised until the hunger pangs started to set in and we went on a trek to Tescos for some Ben and Jerrys. It was shut. The petrol station kiosk was shut as well. By this time I was going a little bit mental and threatened to eat a passing hobo. Therefore, I ended up at Battered, last choice of those sober, as it seems to only sell things that can be stomached after a heavy night of drinking methylated spirits or some other such irritant. It wasn’t bad, but afterwards I was sort of wishing I’d gone with the hobo…

Well, I hope everyone is OK and still loving doing what they’re doing, unless they weren’t loving it in the first place, in which case you should get yourself a different occupation.

Mx


January 12, 2007

Why? Just why?

Why? That is the question upon my lips at the moment. Why do we go out, horny and alone and pull mingers? Or just people that we have no desire to see again, let alone pull?

Basically, tonight I went out, met a guy who I have a major crush on who pretty much blanked me, and as retaliation, I pulled a minger. Who did that help? Why did I do it? To be honest, it didn’t get back at anyone other than me. Just why? That’s all I can think of at the moment – why?

I made a resolution to not make do. Seems like that is falling by the wayside! I’m an arse. That’s all. No-one can deny it, because if they do they surely don’t know the true extent of what I’ll do.

Why?! God, I think it’s the first thing I can remember regretting the moment I did it.

Hope you’re all in better states than I am.

Mx


January 09, 2007

The Morning After The Night Before

Well, this isn’t a blog to say sorry for what I did in the throws of alcoholism last night, but oh, dear God, I was wasted. Therefore I don’t know what I was saying! I’m also a firm non-believer of the whole mantra of “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts”. It’s bollocks, because a drunk man doesn’t speak words, he just mumbles like a cretin. To be perfectly honest, I can’t recall me saying anything outrageous, so hopefully I didn’t. However, if I offended anyone then I suppose I should apologise. And I will, if needs be!

Well, that’s it – I wasn’t going to write a long one. I’m back at Uni now and everything is going great and I’m falling back in to the old way of life. I hope everyone is good and having an amazing time doing whatever it is they’re doing!

Mx


January 02, 2007

Resolutions?

So, what will 2007 herald in the world of Mitch?

Well, lads and lasses, I really can’t say with too much certainty what will happen, but there are a few things that I would like very much to. First of all: Japan! I’m due to find out in February at the latest if I have an interview with the Jet Programme or not. If not, I’ll be applying to AEON and GEOS to do the same thing (for those of you who don’t know, my aim is to teach English in Japan for a year after I graduate). I’m really hoping that I get at least one of them to offer me a place because then I can have to opportunity to pick or choose a placement depending on where they offer me. For example, if Jet offers me a placement in the middle of nowhere, but AEON offer me a place in Kyoto, there won’t really be a choice involved!

What else would I like to happen? Well, I’m sick and tired of being the eternally single one who tags along and gets in the way of everyone else’s relationships. However, I’m very close to resolving for the new year not to make do with anything that is offered, like I usually do, and to be more picky. Somehow I can’t see that one lasting, but the sentiment is there.

I suppose I should hope that I stop being such a moody bastard and give my friends a rest, but again, I can’t see it happening.

What I can see happening, is me getting very annoyed at the gym when I go back. I can almost guarantee that it will be so much harder to get machines when there due to the influx of New Year do-gooders who will have made the resolution to get thin. Not that that isn’t one of my resolutions, it’s just it isn’t a specifically New Year thing. Luckily, I reckon most of them won’t last as long as February and then it should return to normal. Here’s hoping and betting on the lack of willpower in others!

I also hope that my Submissions entry is successful adn I egt to direct Bat Boy in the Studio from May 9th-12th. It will be an amazing opportunity and for once I’ve actually worked hard preparing something. Fingers crossed for a gay, thespian, musical-theatre 2007! Yay!

Right – will sign off. Does anyone care about my New Year’s musings? I’m not sure they do, but it’s nice t get them down and see what I’m confronting myself with in this, my 22nd year on the planet.

Keep well

Mx


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