Is It Coincidence That VD Means Both Valentine's Day And Venereal Disease?
Now, I know what you’re thinking and I can assure you that it’s not going to happen – you’re not going to have to read the bitter moanings of the eternal singleton.
Last night, Richy and I decided to celebrate our own Anti-Valentine’s Day Day – we bought Ben and Jerry’s and alcohol, and sat down in front of Mean Girls and Legally Blonde and bitched a little bit. Then we made popcorn. All in all, quite a productive evening.
In the midst of all this jollyness, I couldn’t help but wonder about the sales of ice cream such as Haagen Dazs or B&J’s on 14th February. There are millions of single guys and gals out there who mope about on that day – the people who make that stuff must be rolling in it after the sales of just one day per year!
Most of my VD (and here, I’m meaning the day, as opposed to the disease) was spent in London. I had an interview at the Japanese Embassy to ascertain whether or not I was a liability to send to Japan to teach English for a year (or 3). My train was majorly delayed, but my age-old adage came into play – getting annoyed isn’t going to make the train arrive any quicker. When I got on the train, I was beset by thickly-accented chavs who were supposed to alight at Milton Keynes but instead, dicked about a bit and consequently missed their stop. At first, I branded them as the general loud youth-scum one finds anywhere in Coventry. However, some of them actually resembled human beings and they were generally quite nice and quite funny. It made my journey go a little bit quicker, observing how they interacted with each other. If it wouldn’t’ve been such a waste of three years, I should have done Sociology (however, as anyone who knows me will know, that wouldn’t happen, as I flunked it at AS Level and got an E! Oh, that, and I hated every minute of it).
When I arrived in the Big Smoke, I quickly made my way over to Covent Garden, where I ordered a table for one at my most frequented Wagamamas. From there, I headed on over to Green Park (saw the Ritz, where I’ll be heading in a few weeks for afternoon tea!) and sat reading The Bell Jar in the Starbucks there whilst waiting for my interview time to roll around. I then strolled on over to the Japanese Embassy, went through all of their security procedure things and checked my phone in at reception. God, Japanese people are friendly.
As I sat waiting for someone to come and fetch me, I had a look at the stuff they had there and took a shine to a couple of maps they had lying around. They’re now sat next to me, but I’m pretty certain I was allowed to take them – sort of free literature that these places leave for you to pick up. A nice girl called Tilly (apparently she’d never met a person called Mitch before) came and found me and took me upstairs. There, I took an English grammar test that wasn’t too hard (I got confused on some of the spelling questions because they gave you three options and they all looked so similar, I had to take some time out to think about how I would spell it on my own – luckily my speeling is good) and watched a video. Well, when I say “watched a video” I mean, I chatted to Tilly about what she did in Japan. Then I had to sit on a little chair until my interviewers were ready for me. An American girl who looked remarkably like my friend Esther came out and told me that she used to be on the JET programme and would be taking my interview. Then she introduced me to this Japanese dude who seemed a little reluctant to be there. Generally, it went OK – the questions were pretty standard and I think I conveyed how excited I am by the possibility that I may be spending a year in the Orient. Then, the Japanese guy dealt his deathly blow – after professing to love the country so much, he asked me who the Prime Minister was. Now, I could tell you how many inhabitants there were in Tokyo, or even in Japan itself. I could also tell you the annual GDP and the fact that Japan has the second largest economy in the world. But I had no clue who fucking runs the country. After telling him that I simply didn’t know (there was no way on Earth I could’ve guessed), he gave me a second chance to prove myself on the all-things-Japanese front: name 3 famous Japanese people. Now forgive me for being dense, but other than Mr Miyagi from The Karate Kid, I was stumped. Luckily, I managed to pull two out of a hat, but a third just eluded me. No doubt, if I Wiki it later on, there will be heaps of people I knew, but when I was in there, I coouldn’t for the life of me think. However, other than those two questions, I reckon I answered all the others quite well. At one point I was asked if I minded being sent to rural areas. Now, I was always taught that you should always prove yourself to being amenable, so I said yes. Why did I say yes? If I get sent to some mountain-side shanty town, I’m not going to be impressed. I did stress that I grew up in a big city and find it easier to adapt and settle into new surroundings if they’re bustling, but I’m starting to dread saying that I’m up for rural. Although, if I’d said that no I wasn’t, that may have been the dealbreaker itself.
Afterwards I met up with Krystle, who I haven’t seen since the end of my second year. We caught up over a KFC and then I headed back to Coventry where I met up with Richy.
Reading Week is drawing to a close. Already. This term is flying by and I have done nothing. I started researching my essay the other day in the library but ended up playing Feeding Frenzy (you’re a fish and you have to eat fish smaller than you and avoid fish bigger than you, until you grow big enough to eat them as well – great fun!). Seeing as Bat Boy rehearsals start THIS SUNDAY I should really be making a concerted effort. In fact, I’m going to force myself back there today to do some studying. Force myself. First of all I need a shower, but then I’m going to head over.
On Saturday I think we’re heading into Birmingham for a gay night out for Robbie’s birthday – hopefully, we’ll be going for a meal beforehand at a restaurant called Malaysian Delight (sounds like a whorehouse, no?).
Well, this has been quite a long one, but I figured that it was the best way to let people know how the interview went without having to relive it constantly. This will also test how many people read this thing – hopefully more people than normal do because my blog is now streamed onto my facebook profile, but I still think people ignore it. Bastards!
Anyhoo – I hope everyone is OK and that Reading Weeks are going well for everyone that gets one.
P.S. – I wrote “speeling” earlier on – for those of you who missed it, it was irony.