All 2 entries tagged Squirrels

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September 13, 2005

Evil squirrels (part 2)

Follow-up to Evil Squirrel Bastards from Bloggle

As previously reported in this blog, squirrels are evil. Here is a chart showing the top ten most evil entities ever:

1. Lord Sauron 100% Evil
2. Adolf Hitler 99% Evil
= The Emperor 99% Evil
4. Joseph Stalin 97% Evil
5. Lord Voldemort 96% Evil
6. Squirrels 94% Evil
7. Manchester United Fans 93% Evil
= Bambi 93% Evil
9. Broccoli 92% Evil
10. Stiffler from American Pie 91% Evil

In the previous blog entry I drew attention to squirrels pretending to be rabbits in order to get into people's homes. Now they've taken on grander designs. Here is a picture of the University of Warwick Students Union taken with a normal camera. Try to spot any disguised squirrels. I'll give you a clue, there are four of them.

Gerroff! The gold

Can you see them? Here's some help: this is the same shot, but taken with a special camera that conveniently put's circles around any disguised squirrels.

How many did you manage to get? Not many? Without the special camera it's very difficult indeed, but not impossible. I'll give you some tips.

  1. Look at the fiesta, do you notice how it's parked next to another similar car? This a typical squirrel trick: imitation. If you see two things together that look the same, the chances are that one of them is a squirrel in disguise. The same rule applies to the light bollard.

  2. Squirrels like to disguise as signs. Think about it for a minute. The best place to hide is the last place someone would think to look. People always look at signs in order to see where they are going. So only a fool would hide as a sign because so many people would see it, right? Wrong. Because of this signs are the best things to disguise as. No one expects it. It's a classic case of missing what's right under your nose. This is why in the picture the signs for the Union and Xananananananas are in fact squirrels.

If you bear these in mind then you'll have a much better chance of fighting the squirrels. It's gotten to the point where squirrels could be anywhere, before they only appeared in isolated areas. You have been warned.

April 21, 2005

Evil Squirrel Bastards

Grey squirrels are attempting to rise up and become the dominant species on Earth. Not content with obliterating the Red Squrriel population, they now have their sights set on Fluffy Wuffy Bunny Wabbits and from there they are expected to mount a threat to humans.

Squirrels are disguising themselves as rabbits in the hope of being adopted by kind hearted families, and then going about killing the family's pets. Do not be fooled by this deceit.

Here are two pictures of rabbits…

But... one is in fact a squirrel pretending to be a rabbit. Can you tell which?

There is an easy way to tell the difference. If you grab a rabbits tail and it comes off then you probably have a squirrel. However this is not guaranteed as some rabbits have taken to pretending to be squirrels pretending to be rabbits in order to avoid being beaten up by actual squirrels pretending to be rabbits.

Everyone is urged to take care at this most delicate of times. Should you see a squirrel, do not panic. Simply back away slowly.

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