All 4 entries tagged Poetry
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July 11, 2005
Of noise they do sate,
So I'm hard to discombobulate,
Lots of people wear them, but not a girl called Kate,
Her neighbour watched TV really late,
So Kate cut off her legs and spoiled her gait,
Using steel which was corrogate,
She ended up in A&E where she had to wait
for four hours, give or take
in a place called Horsleygate
Where Barry and Rebecca did mate,
and gave birth to a chimp who could skate,
for our heroine called Kate
and they went to the wake
of Kate's legless flatmate
who died in a crate
when stabbed with a stake
by the girl called Kate
because the noise she did hate
and could no longer wait
to get to sleep; it was late,
if only she'd realised that earplugs are great.
April 14, 2005
It doesn't attract major news, but poetry is still rife throughout the world. From London to Sydney, New York to Tokyo, poets are rhyming and and making plays on words.
Seven million children in Britain alone fall asleep in English lessons because of poetry each year. Many can't even settle to watch television in the evening without the words "I wandered lonely as a cloud." popping into their heads.
Hardy, Lawrence, Wordsworth. All names that strike fear into our hearts. Yet children as young as six years old will groan at the sight of their names tomorrow at school.
Since you started reading this, eight children have read a poem.
We must act now to stop this. You can make a difference. Send a big fat cheque payable to me and you will receive a wristband that lets everyone know that you think poetry sucks. 5% of money received will go towards helping children who would otherwise have to read poetry.
Only together can we make poetry history.
January 18, 2005
Not that I'm bothered.
January 17, 2005
The O.C. is so terrible, but I can't help watching it. Most of the characters are pure evil (Caleb, Julie, etc…) or just plain annoying (Marrissa, Kirsten, …). The plot lines are hilarious, Luke's dad being introduced just so they could have a gay story, Julie Cooper and Luke having an affair, crazy Oliver. Thats just the first season, don't get me started on the second. Aside from that it's such a shallow programme, the message you get from it is this: "Rich people do bad things sometime but they're good at heart. Poor people are evil evil evil!!" For example, Caleb is practically satan, but the show tries to make us sympathise with him, whereas Eddie is painted as some kind of lunatic, even though he's not really as bad as Caleb. But in spite of this I still watch it, and I feel so ashamed. You get hooked on it and can't stop, its really bad. I can't even pretend I'm watching it ironically because of the bad plot lines, I genuinely enjoy it. To the show's credit it is pretty funny sometimes, and it's nice to watch something on TV where the sun always shines. Its still awful though and I've written a poem about it:
The O.C is just so lame,
and the characters are a pain,
but i find it really funny
and the weathers always sunny.
Ryan's a bad boy who isn't bad,
in fact he's actually kinda sad.
All Seth ever does is talk,
like a parrot squawk squawk squawk.
Marrissa's an alcoholic,
at school she drinks gin and tonic.
Summer's really vain and short on wits,
but she's forgiven cos she has big…
Sandy's pretty cool,
he let Ryan live by the pool.
Kirsten's usually pretty glum
and she's too young to be Seth's mum.
The plots are really contrived
and the actors oughta be knived.
So why do I watch it?
when really it's just s**t
I do hope I'm not the only one who feels this way, perhaps if there are others we should form O.C. anonymous (though I realise my anonominity has been blown after this blog).