All 7 entries tagged Blogging

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August 11, 2005

How to be a Great Blogger

Surprise, surprise, I don't actually know how to be a great blogger. Do you really think I'd have written entries such as this if I did?

In a fit of boredom I – typically behind the times – ended up stumbling across the Guardian's 2003 Best British Blog Awards . The categories were:

  • Best Design
  • Best use of Photography
  • Under 18s
  • Best Specialist
  • Best Written

So how can we, Warwick Bloggers, go on to be great bloggers?

Design

I think winning a best design award might be a little tricky here as there's not any room for creativity. As someone who breaks in to a cold sweat every time my computer asks me anything more complicated than if I want to log-off or shut-down I'm most grateful for this.

I'm not sure what makes a blog well designed anyway, they all look the same to me. Perhaps they're like babies, only their parents can tell the difference between their own blog and somebody else's.

Best use of Photography

This is one for the "arty" bloggers out there, though make sure the file's not too big. There's plenty of Kodak moments on Warwick Blogs, but I'm not sure that's what's meant by good photography, being something more like this sort of thing rather than this sort of thing. Though there a few proper photographers out there, such as Steve Rumsby and… and… I'm sure there's plenty more.

Under 18s

I find it hard to envisage anyone on Warwick Blogs winning this category without cheating so let's move swiftly on.

Specialists

In a way all Warwick Blogs are specialist by virtue of being related to the University of Warwick, but as a subject goes it's pretty dull. One of the blogs mentioned in the article is about travelling on the London Underground even if it didn't actually win, so perhaps there's potential for an X12 specialist blog.

The winner of the category was someone posting The Diary of Samuel Pepys over the course of ten years. Which if you're of a certain intellectual bent you might consider clever and artistic, but as I am not I'd call it a bit of a cop out. We've all been there: Blogger's cramp. If you've got it pre-written by someone else it's easy to get around. In all fairness, what the heck do I know though, so if someone has a copy of Anne Frank's diary to hand you might be onto a winner.

Best Written

This is one that's got to open to everyone. At least, everyone who can type coherent sentence. usrs of txtspk might b best 2 frgt bout it. The winner was belle de jour – the diary of a London call girl. Let's face it, that's a bit grittier than anything likely to be seen on Warwick Blogs. Warwick Blogs are written by either bratty students or people who work in a university – a place full of bratty students.

Less gritty, but probably still beyond Warwick Blogs reach was Call Centre Confidential . I've taken a quick look and anecdotally it's much funnier than any of us here could hope to achieve, making me think of The Office at a first glance.

You won't need telling that there are well written Warwick Blogs though. By default I'd rate anyone on my favourites as being worth reading (duh!) To pick some out I'd say Fluffy Pink Shit by Elizabeth Jenner is especially well written and humourous, and of course, as everyone knows, the bloggiest blog has to be Sam Hates... .

Conclusions

To summarise the above, to be a Great Blogger, you need to:

  • Make your blog look pretty, I'm going out on a limb here, but the "glassdog" theme is unlikely to do you any favours.
  • Blog on a specific theme, flitting from one topic to another doesn't seem to win awards.
  • Be from London! With blogging, as with just about everything else, the rest of us may as well not exist.
  • Have an interesting job or lifestyle or…
  • Have a boring job or lifestyle but use it for humour.

August 09, 2005

Bloggle is here!

Follow-up to Bloggle! from Bloggle

The rules are:

  • Make a word from the grid using adjacent (including diagonally adjacent) letters.
  • Each cube can only be used once.
  • For each grid come up with one word.
  • Slang, Proper Nouns etc… are all allowed.
  • The words don't even need to be English!
  • The length of the word is the number of points you get.

Bonus Points on offer:

  • x3 Finding a blogger's name.
  • x2 Finding an insulting word.

Grid 1

Grid 2

Grid 3


July 27, 2005

Blogging Statistics

It has come to this blogger's attention that in general the standard of blogging decreases as the amount of free time increases. This is particularly true of the following blogs:

And also:

Here are overlapping graphs showing this over the past six months:

Clearly this is obeying the old adage of "More time than blogging capabilities."

For the record here are some statistics

  • I have 1 (one) blog.
  • I have around 100 entries, around, oh, 97 of which are crap.
  • Poisson Distribution.
  • That joke was precisely 100% terrible.
  • I have a huge readership. At least two people will read this sentence.
  • 93% of vans are white.

July 23, 2005

Bloggle!

Are you lacking intellectual stimulation over the summer holiday? Do you need something challenging and fun to keep you mind going?

Don't despair!

Play Bloggle! It's the new craze sweeping the nation.

You've heard of Boggle, but Bloggle is different. Where in Boggle you could choose any permeable word from the grid, in Bloggle you have to choose a word that is either pretentious, superior or a feign at wackiness. For example:

  • Tory Party leaders aren't bald, they in fact suffer from alopecia, along with numerous psychological defects.
  • When you go to bed you aren't sleepy, you are somnolent.
  • The women on Big Brother aren't sluts, they're bawds.

It's the perfect game for students to show off and make everyone else feel fatuous.


June 06, 2005

Concerning Blogs

Did you know that blogs are actually living creatures? No? Well, now you do, I've just been on safari getting some pictures of them (it was dangerous, some blogs are better left alone, believe me):

Warowickinti Blogorro (Warwick Blog)

The "typical" Warwick Blog. They are happy little creatures that go around spreading joy and happiness to those they meet. They avoid conflicts such as the War of the Beige in which many blogs lost their lives. Good examples can be found here and here and here and here

Agro Blogorro (Angry Blog)

These are very dangerous creatures. Dont get too close they might hurt you. They vary from being aggressively opinionated to just being plain aggressive. An example is here (Oh, like you couldn't have figured that out for yourself)

Torificus Blogorro (Tory Blog)

These are foul creatures with hearts of coal. They are looked upon with contempt by many other blogs. Keep away from them, it may be contagious. An example of a Torificus Blogorro is… how the heck would I know? I kept my distance.

Quizilla Blogorro (Online-quiz Blog)

A curiousity among blogs. They're very keen on looking for questions rather than answers. Most other blogs regard them as slightly perculiar but they don't cause harm to others and as such deserve to be let be. An example is… they're everywhere! You can't avoid them.

Intelligenti Blogorro (Clever Blog)

These are quite sophisticated blogs. They know what they're talking about (or at least make it sound like they do). Some offer critiques, others go around spouting poetry and others stories. They are the leaders amongst Warwick Blogs and deserve our respect. Examples: Here and here

Editorial Note (Include for Publiction): Of course, there are many wonderful blogs out there that haven't been mentioned. There really isn't time or space to list them all, but rest assured they weren't left out on purpose, I just happened to mention the ones I saw whilst on safari.

Editorial Note (Remove for Publication): Fucking Tories.


February 09, 2005

What type of Blogger are you?

1. Why do you blog?
a) Its nice to write stuff down.
b) Can't think of anything better to do.
c) To indoctrinate as many people as possible into submission to my rule, mwahahaha
d) To vent my rage.
e) Because I'm completely insane, heehee!

2. Did you vote in the union elections?
a) Yes I think its really interesting reading all the manifestoes
b) Yeah, bit bored by the amount of blog entries on the topic though.
c) Vote? I tried to win!
d) The elections are a big ego competition for egotistical people with big egos, who want to prove how big their egos are.
e) Yes but only for candidates with funny names.

3. Most of your blog entries contain:
a) Normal stuff, bit like a diary.
b) Snippets of information about funny stuff that actually happened.
c) Stuff about me, me, ME!!!
d) Rants.
e) A load of crap about nothing.

4. Are you going to send a Valentine's card?
a) Yes, to my boy/girlfriend
b) Well maybe, theres this girl/boy I sorta like…
c) Maybe one to myself
d) Its just an excuse for Clinton's to make money. Grrr
e) I'm going to (literally) stick a pin in a random person and send one to them.

5. What do you think of the Union officers?
a) I think they do a good job.
b) They're okay I guess, I don't think it matters that much though.
c) I'd do a much better job
d) Bunch of wxxxxxs
e) There are seven of them

6. How many of the What Kind of xxxxxx are you links have you clicked?
a) None
b) Some of them, its a bit of harmless fun.
c) Which Greek God am I? I'm a god anyway!
d) I found all the people who posted threads on the topic and brutally slaughtered them.
e) All of them, but I thought dragons were real anyway.

7. What do you think of this entry?
a) I'm not even reading it (???)
b) It's a bit lame
c) Not as good as mine
d) You loser, its crap! I'm going to kill you for it.
e) Yes

8. Have you seen Lord of the Rings?
a) No
b) Yeah, who hasn't?
c) I think I should get the One Ring
d) The wrong side won
e) I'm an elf

9. Have you looked at the "If you answered" bit yet?
a) Well I don't really care anyway
b) No, that would be weird
c) Yes I want to make sure I get the best profile
d) No you fxxxwit, why would I do that, like I fxxxing care anyway?
e) I'll have two bananas please

10. How would you like people to view your blog?
a) Well I only really write if for me and few friends to read.
b) I'd like to think people enjoy it
c) They must love it, I'm the best, you all suck!
d) I want them to be scared
e) I want them to have me committed.

If you answered:

Mostly a) Anti-blogger: Why are you here? You're much too normal, clearly you don't have any complex psychological trauma, so I don't understand why you blog. Fortunately for you you're probably ten times better looking and much more likely to live a normal happy life than anyone else blogging.

Mostly b) Conventional blogger: You aren't completely round the bend… yet, but if you read too many blogs you might struggle to keep that up. You're the sort of blogger who can interact with other human beings without killing them/scaring them away. Good for you.

Mostly c) Powercrazed Blogger: You think Warwick blogs would be much better if only your blogs were allowed, you want to take over the world.

Mostly d) Angry Blogger: You're so filled with anger and you don't know what to do with it. You want to kill everyone on Warwick Blogs. In fact you want to kill everyone full stop.

Mostly e) (Prentend) Lunatic Blogger: Your blogs of full of random nonsense. You want everyone to think you're a nutter, but reallly you're quite normal and are just attention seeking.

For the record I am (e)


January 25, 2005

That Warwick Blogs Thing

Did it. Thought it. Blogged it. F***ed off.

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