All entries for Friday 29 April 2005

April 29, 2005

The Really Nice Party

Everyone on blogs seems to be affiliated with some political party of late – even if some are with joke parties like the Conservatives – so I thought I'd better get on side with someone. My party is the Really Nice Party (Or to give it its full name, The Really Really Really Really Nice Party).

Children/Education

  • All kids will be given a bike for their fourth, tenth and fourteenth birthdays.
  • Schools will have bigger playing fields and more after school activities, this will mean pupils can stay at school until later, saving money for parents on childcare.
  • Kids will only be taught interesting history. eg. Fascism – interesting, Ancients – interesting, Agricultural Revolution – deathly dull. Medicine through time – zzzz. If history gets dull we'll make stuff up. eg. The pyramids were built by aliens.
  • We'll ban teaching literature in school because it puts kids off reading. Instead we'll have book groups for kids as part of the after school activities.

Crime Prevention

  • The police will be replaced by "Be Nice Squads". They'll go around being really friendly and stuff, no one will want to commit a crime because they'll feel guilty about upsetting the "Be Nice Squads".
  • We'll make prisons more enjoyable places to be, cos let's face it thee current system doesn't work.

Taxes

  • You're thinking "All this will cost money", but don't worry, we'll just tax people who have too much money, they won't miss it.

Health Service

  • We'll pump it with money but we won't actually need one anyway, people are less likely to get ill if they're happy. Everyone will be delirious under Really Nice, so will never get ill.
  • We'll give out lots of free condoms to try and stop STDs.

Immigration

  • The more the merrier. Everyone's welcome.

Foreign Policy

  • Instead of going to war we'll go and talk to to nasty dictators and try to find out whats up and stuff. They might just be lashing out because of misplaced aggression and just want a shoulder to cry on.

General Welfare

  • Free ice-cream for everyone on sunny days.
  • Anyone who's a bit short of money on a given week can go too a special bank and we'll help them out with a fiver here and there.
  • By law everyone will give flowers to someone eadh week.

Oh, Be Nice!


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