All entries for Saturday 28 May 2005

May 28, 2005

Hot Dog!

I'm getting in touch with my inner Redneck and saying that Texas is great.

A shocking statement given that by comparison to the state's politics the average Warwick blogger looks like Lenin.

But forgetting about such horrible conservative principles (they're quite keen on frying people I believe) and concentrating on all the great things that Texas has given us, it's pretty darn cool. Here's why:

Texas Barbecue Sauce Pringles: A rather dubous link to Texas, but they're my favourite snack food by a good margin. Though they do give me really bad stomach aches the morning after I eat, but eat them I do anyway. It's a principle I apply to a number of things, for instance my favourite pair of shoes make my feet bleed. In all fairness eating a whole tube of Pringles in one go probably isn't the smartest thing to do. And I guess the fact that the eating of pringles is intertwined with the consumption of vast quantities of alcohol doesn't exactly help either.

Lance Armstrong: Six time winner of le Tour de France (not la Tour de France, which according to Tim Moore is his fantastic cycling book French Revolutions: Cycling the Tour de France translates as the tower of France) and general sporting giga-star. Famously he was diagnosed with cancer, but recovered to go on to win lots of cycling races. An all round hero.

Southern Fried food: I have no idea if this actually comes from Texas specifically but southern fried food is rather scrummy. Southern Fried Chicken is my favourite. More things should be southern fried. Like George Bush (not the finest thing Texas has given the world) perhaps, that'd be a great help to everyone on the planet.

Texas Motor Speedway: When it opened a few years back with an "Indycar" race (American F1 if you're realy clueless) they had to postpone the event because the track was too fast. Yup, that's right. They'd been a bit optimistic with the angle of the banking so the cars were cornering a little two quickly. The g-forces produced were giving the drivers nausea and headaches. Brilliant! It could only happen in America.

Hot Dog! It's a great saying. Over Christmas one of my friends had some people over from America. On New Years eve we did Britain vs. America at pool, which we duly won (of course!). So in the inevitable inebriated state that goes with December 31st, I was high fiving and shouting "Hot Dog!"

Texas Long Horns: It's that symbol you make with your hands by having the outer two finger up and the middle two folded in. Moronic people (eg. me) do it at gigs all the time as some kind of rock thing. I think it's supposed to be devil horns in that case, I'm not quite sure. It's one of my favourite hand gestures along with "Spot on", which is made by forming a loop with your index finger and thumb and having the other three fingers slightly bent and fanned. Now you know.

Editorial Note (include for publication): This blog entry was written in the Computer Centre (I do like the snazzy new monitors, I hadn't been in since last year) after Internet explorer decided it didn't want to cooperate in the whole blogging process. After a slide in blogging form (I blogged about the O.C. for Chrissakes) perhaps IE was trying to stop me making myself look a fool by writing crap entries. The fact that I managed to get this entry out is evidence that it'll take a force even more dark and powerful than microsoft for me to stop looking a fool. Maybe if Sauron and Voldemort teamed up they could do it, but even they'd be struggling.


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