All entries for Tuesday 22 February 2005

February 22, 2005

Students develop gambling problems

Students at the University of Warwick have become hardened gamblers of the course of last weekend. The situation takes root in an advertising campaign by a "text" gambling service who will remain un-named. Beer-mat shaped fliers for the company arrived in students' halls of residence on Friday afternoon, since then many have been unable to control the urge to waste their student loan on lottery tickets, in a bookmakers and in extreme cases flying to las Vegas casinoes.

Anti-gambling campaigners are disgusted by this highly inethical advertising drive. A representative of an anti-gambling group had this to say, "We honestly don't see how this could happen, surely the university ought to be protecting students from such exploitative marketing. Surely they know that students can't resist anything that comes in the shape of a beer-mat. The advertisements should never have been allowed onto campus."

A student from Jack Martin was forced to eat his own leg after he spent all his money on the service and couldn't afford to go to tesco. This is a situation many see as a sign that no one is safe – if someone from Jack Martin can run out of money, the reasoning is that anyone can. This is excepting students from Arthur Vick, many of whom have shares in the company.

Some students have had to resort to illegal measures in an attempt to raise money to fuel their addiction. A number of female students turned to prostitution on Saturday as a source of income. Unfortunately for them they were unsuccessful, an anonymous campus whore explains, "We were stood outside the union at 1 o' clock in the morning hoping to get some trade, but no one was interested, they didn't want to pay when they could get the same treatment for free at Skool Dayz."

It is hoped that campus will return to normal over the coming weeks. Research shows that students can't concentrate on one thing for more than a few days, so the gambling obsession should slowly disappear. However students should try to only use beer mats featuring drinks companies to avoid being subconsciously drawn to a dangerous self-destructive addiction.


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