All entries for Wednesday 09 March 2005

March 09, 2005

Mike's F1 Championship: Round 1 – Australian Grand Prix

Well after all the fuss over the new rules there didn't seem to be much difference in the racing, however there was plenty of comedy value:

  • After Raikkonen stalled on the grid wasn't it funny to watch as they all sort of sat there not quite sure what to do.
  • The pitstops! They reminded me of computer games from a few years ago. When you made a pitstop you'd drive in between your mechanics, during the stop itself they'd be motionless – clearly this is where the teams got their inspiration from.

Not much to say about the race because it was pretty dull, so onto the points:


10pts David Coulthard Impressive stuff. I'm very happy with his result because he's in my Fantasy F1 team!

8pts Giancarlo Fisichella A much deserved win, and he made me look good because I was harking on about him in the previous round. He also is in my Fantasy F1 team.

6pts Fernando Alonso Apparently it is possible to overtake, which is a relief. Unfortunately ITV went on about how well he did way too much so I can't give him more points because I hate ITV (see "Special Cases").

5pts Rubens Barrichello In a particularly strange Grand Prix it's nice to be reassured that somethings will never change. Rubens gets points for finishing in his usual second place. Also eight points clear of Schumacher, go Rubens!

4pts Narain Kathikeyan Actually he didn't do too bad, did he?

3pts Christian Klien Contrary to what James Allen may say, he didn't disappoint last year. Sunday was further evidence that he can drive.

2pts Jarno Trulli Just for getting a Toyota on the front row.

1pt Mark Webber How many of the other drivers equaled their best ever results?

-1pt Pablo Montoya Not the most stuning of performances and of course he "threw away second place".

-2pt Tiago Monteiro Didn't exactly do anything wrong, but was slightly unwilling the get out of the way when being lapped (see Villeneuve/Friesacher).

-3pts Ralf Schumacher Other than when his car left a trail of smoke off the second dummy grid we never really saw him. I'm sure he did something wrong though.

-4pts Patrick Friesacher Not particularly impressive, there's something wrong when a driver's greatest contribution to a race is to nearly take out one of the front runners.

-5pts Takuma Sato If you heard the radio transmition of Sato's Q1 outlap: "Too late" – indeed.

-6pts Kimi Raikkonen My driving instructor used to say that there are two types of drivers, those that stall cars and those that lie. Meaning there's no shame in stalling. However can everyone join me in a "ha-ha!" for Raikkonen. Also is he not happy unless he goes wide at that chicane during qualifying? How easy does he want to make it for Montoya?

-8pts Michael Schumacher After winning the championship last year Schumacher did everything in his power to f*** up wherever possible, clearly he's so confident of success this year he's going to try that all year.

-10pts Jacques Villeneuve That was just s***.


10pts Red Bull Mega stuff, thankfully I won't have to resort to ddrinking Kick it would seem.

8pts Renault Do I need to explain?

2pts Ferrari Damn that F2004 keeps going! Dread to think what's going to happen when they bring the F2005 out.

1pt Jordan They were completely anonymous, which these days, for Jordan is a good thing.

-1pt Sauber For having their weakest driver line up in years.

-3pts Williams_ They didn't exactly set the world on fire, Christ they were beaten by a blue Jaguar!

-4pts McLaren Not because of anything they did. This is for that freaky Mercedes A-Class commercial (you know the one) during one of the ad-breaks. It's the middle of the night, it's dark, you're on you own. That's really not the sort of advert you want to see. Yellow Submarine parodies about Hate, now that's okay.

-5pts Toyota_ Another driver line up change and they still suck.

-8pts Minardi F1 politics is_sooooo_ boring, stop it!

-10pts BAR The worst performance by BAR in ages, also the pathetic attempt at using the loophole in the engine rules. Rubbish.

Special Cases

-1pt ITV "Gow Webbow Gow" – shut up Jim.

-1pt ITV Who the hell was Ted Kravitz interviewing? "These people should be familiar to British viewers". Really?

-1pt ITV Or more precisely the person who put a red sock in with Mark Blundell's laundry.

-1pt ITV I'm so glad Martin Brundle interviewed Nicholas Cage, I mean otherwise I might have been under the delusion that standing on the grid before a race was boring. In fact I might have thought it was as dull as actually watching the race.

-1pt ITV During the race we're watching a graphic of the g forces on Kimi Raikkonen. The director changes shot to show David Coulthard and Mark Webber racing each other. James Allen (sounding disappointed): "Oh, we've cut away". Arrrggghhhh!!

-1pt ITV For showing the scary Mercedes comercial.

10pts Simon Young For winning a BUKC race, and quite possibly being the only person to bother to read this!

10pts Warwick BUKC For also doing well.

Drivers Standings
14pts Fernando Alonso
13pts Giancarlo Fisichella
10pts David Coulthard
10pts Rob Margeit
10pts Glen Crompton
10pts Simon Young
6pts Nick Heidfeld
5pts Takuma Sato
5pts Mark Webber
4pts Rubens Barrichello
3pts Christian Klien
2pts Juan Pablo Montoya
2pts Jarno Trulli
1pt Narain Kathikeyan
0pts Felipe Massa
0pts Christijan Albers
-2pts Patrick Friesacher
-4pts Tiago Monteiro
-6pts Jenson Button
-7pts Michael Schumacher
-8pts Ralf Schumacher
-10pts Me
-14pts Jacques Villeneuve
-16pts Kimi Raikkonen

Constructors Standings
18pts Renault
10pts Warwick BUKC
9pts Red Bull
1pt Jordan
0pts Williams
0pts Minardi
0pts Sauber
-2pts McLaren
-6pts ITV
-8pts Ferrari
-12pts BAR
-13pts Toyota

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