All entries for Saturday 07 May 2005

May 07, 2005

Blogger's head exploded

Michael Walker is unable to blog for the time being, for his head has exploded.

At around 4am last night whilst in his sleep, Mike's head simply blew up into tiny pieces. Doctors are still working on gluing it back together with Pritt Stick. Their initial attempts using that purple UHU stuff proved fruitless because it's crap.

It is believed the head exploded due to ridiculous levels of stress, caused by, among other things: too much work, applications and an irrational phobia of the letter G.

Should the doctors be unsuccesful there will be an auction for key parts of Mike's brain. This is what would be on offer:

  • A neurotic hopelessness when it comes to women.
  • Lots of maths skills.
  • Lots of memory space.
  • The ability to daydream for hours on end.
  • Detailed plans for global domination.

It is hoped that it won't come to this but you should bid early in order to stand the greatest chance of success.

If you're worried that you won't get your fix of 411 for a while, then even though you're clearly mad to care, fear not. Investigators have found two or three unfinished blog entries, which will be published here over the course of the next few weeks. It is also hoped that by sending electric current through a small part of Mike's brain that blog comments may be produced, however this is yet to be confirmed.

This entry was brought to you courtesy of the exploded head department at Coventry Hospital. If you wish to help Mike's plight please clap your hands and say "Mike, why did your head explode? Gosh darnit, that was very silly of you."


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