September 27, 2005

Different breeds of traveller

During my travels over the summer, I encountered many types of traveller including the sleeper, the gabber, the silent one, the mother of 6 and the malodorous. I'm sure you have all met at least one of them, I have unfortunately met them ALL and frankly, I can't quite decide which one I hate the most.

The sleeper is the one who, after taking up both theirs and your armrest on the plane, proceeds to snore while his/her head inexorably makes its way onto your shoulder where he/she begins to drool. Everytime you push said head away, it simply drooooooops back.

The gabber is sure to drive you nuts. They begin to tell you of their inexplicable fear of flying and by the end of the flight, you not only know how old she/he is, but how many kids/cats/dogs/husbands and assorted miscellania they have owned/had since they were three years old and have enough knowledge of her life story to write her biography.

The silent one says nothing. From the minute they sit down in the seat next to yours and buckles up, to the moment you all gratefully disembark. Why? Is it my breath? No. Do my armpits smell? Is that it? No. Then WHY?

The mother of six is that poor woman sitting in the row in front/behind you who's kids run up and down the plane shouting, start crying, kick your chair over and over and over again and give you strange looks everytime they go past. Don't get me wrong, I like kids, but this is one time when I wish they could be neither seen nor heard.

The Malodorous is that unfortunate character who, at the age of 27/35/50, is still yet to discover the wonderful and amazing roperties of the susbstance called…."deodorant" or better yet, "anti-perspirant". The smell hits you afresh every single time they lift up their arms to change the setting on the fan/call the air hostesses/put the light on and they inadvertently aerate their armpits. PONG!!!!!

How about you tell me which one you hate the most?


- One comment Not publicly viewable

  1. Mina

    Great piece of writing!
    I hate the silent 1!
    couse i’m silent & i know the pain!
    Actually,i hate every 1 in this shit world!even my mum!

    16 Apr 2007, 21:02


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