September 27, 2005

Different breeds of traveller

During my travels over the summer, I encountered many types of traveller including the sleeper, the gabber, the silent one, the mother of 6 and the malodorous. I'm sure you have all met at least one of them, I have unfortunately met them ALL and frankly, I can't quite decide which one I hate the most.

The sleeper is the one who, after taking up both theirs and your armrest on the plane, proceeds to snore while his/her head inexorably makes its way onto your shoulder where he/she begins to drool. Everytime you push said head away, it simply drooooooops back.

The gabber is sure to drive you nuts. They begin to tell you of their inexplicable fear of flying and by the end of the flight, you not only know how old she/he is, but how many kids/cats/dogs/husbands and assorted miscellania they have owned/had since they were three years old and have enough knowledge of her life story to write her biography.

The silent one says nothing. From the minute they sit down in the seat next to yours and buckles up, to the moment you all gratefully disembark. Why? Is it my breath? No. Do my armpits smell? Is that it? No. Then WHY?

The mother of six is that poor woman sitting in the row in front/behind you who's kids run up and down the plane shouting, start crying, kick your chair over and over and over again and give you strange looks everytime they go past. Don't get me wrong, I like kids, but this is one time when I wish they could be neither seen nor heard.

The Malodorous is that unfortunate character who, at the age of 27/35/50, is still yet to discover the wonderful and amazing roperties of the susbstance called…."deodorant" or better yet, "anti-perspirant". The smell hits you afresh every single time they lift up their arms to change the setting on the fan/call the air hostesses/put the light on and they inadvertently aerate their armpits. PONG!!!!!

How about you tell me which one you hate the most?


The untimely demise of Mina's Blog (the original)

Let me tell you the story of a girl named Mina who once had a Warwick Blog. She had had it for nigh on year when she graduated and was understandably miffed that her samples of journalistic excellence would be left behind along with the manure covered fields of Warwick. She was then told that should she decide to join the Warwick graduates association, she would get to keep her blog for as long as she continued to fork out the £20 per year membership. Not only that, but she would receive a free ticket to the Christmas dinner if she paid by Direct Debit! She promptly filled in, singed and handed in the form, safe in the knowledge that she would be able to update said blog wherever in the world she might be. Come september, she was back at warwick to do her masters and her Blog was there but she couldn't log in. What did she do then you ask? Why, pulled a hollywood and put out Mina's Blog 2!

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  • Great piece of writing! I hate the silent 1! couse i'm silent & i know the pain! Actually,i hate eve… by Mina on this entry

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