All entries for December 2005
December 31, 2005
Ah home. Home, home, home, home, home. Land of tea and umbrellas. Of cadbury's and duvets. Of football hooligans and murderers armed with claw hammers – tho lets ignore that last part for now eh? Still I'm glad to be back and in the warm radiant embrace of my computer.
I felt that in absence of a keyboard I ought to attempt to keep a diary of my holiday, using only the primitive tools of my forefathers. You may know them as a notebook and pen. Unfortunately my lack of preparation left me armed only with a biro and a used envelope. Never one to be deterrred from a challenge I set upon my diary keeping with gusto. Here, word for word is the entry for the 20th.
Tuesday: early cold travel cold house cold can see breath. pyjamas size of boat sails no water no food no central heating. bleugh.
My punctuation leaves a little to be desired but space, you must understand was at a premium. The next day was mildly better.
Wednesday: yawned and could see breath. steam actually rose from my hands. set up tree and christmas lights went shopping entire house still frozen. almost fell asleep reading my notes hands went entirely blue. Forced to endure scrabble yet to brave a shower. finally have running hot water. had a cup of tea too. getting ill, feel all germy. slept fully clothed under two duvets and with a hot water bottle.
After that near-death experience with my developmental biology notes (leading, I believe to the resulting illness) I abandoned my work lest something worse should occur. Secondly I was running out of envelope and the biro in was freezing over. So I indulged in the full-time job of keeping warm until I discovered some paper and doodled away like a happy hermit. Some time among all this doodling Christmas happened. It strolled by in a rather nonchalent way and, not to be out-blazé-d by a mere day, I wished Jesus a happy birthday in an equally nonchalent manner. Then we each went merrily on our own separate ways. A few days later when I ran into Christmas again it was lying in the gutter, beaten and dirty, having been pimped out like a cheap whore. We had a long emotional chat over some expresso and pain-au-chocolats – but that's another story entirely.
Still, I'm distressed to have missed all the christmas television although on second thought "distressed" should maybe read "rather strangely overjoyed" instead. But managed to fit in the Goodies and the Marx brothers today which my parents insisted that I be educated in. Oh dear, what a dismal sounding holiday, I assure you it was a lot more enjoyable than it appears – I missed most of the boring bits whilst in a hypothermic coma anyway…
I leave you with my boxing day pixie doodle.
Or rather I would do if my scanner decided it liked me. :|
Bwahaha winnar! I restarted the hell out of that scanner, Scanner 1; Mia 7 woohoo :D
December 19, 2005
Except maybe a pair of nice thick socks. Oh and some heavy sedatives. This year christmas is going to be very speshul for the "family Brackenridge" you see. Not only will there be an entire 8 deays of enforced 'family time' but it will all take place in another country. In a storm-ridden coastal town. In a house with no central heating – so far the number of scarves in my packing outweigh the actual clothing.
There are weight restrictions on the flight, so the presents won't be coming with us; Ah yes, what a novel approach. And I don't even know if they roast turkeys over there either, although on second thought i wouldn't miss it that much. Turkeys are such hateful creatures, they taste dry and the leftovers last forever. And they look awful, I mean, whoever looked at one and said:
"yes that creature over there! One look in its beady little bottomless black eyes and its wretched face that looks like a shaved cat's arse with a beak stuck on tells me that this is the creature for me. I think my moment of festive celebration would not be complete without this at our table. Let us rejoice at this time of the birth of Jesus by ordering a mass cull of its species."
Maybe one harassed the Son Of God as a child and this is the karmic one-uppance it gets. I don't know.
If I could get one thing for christmas tho, socks would be it. We are supposedly all flooded annually by this seasonal influx of warming foorwear. Not me. I want my socks damnit, I'm 20, if now isn't the time to get socks then when is? Meh. Failing that a "Tea:AM" machine would be great. It not only wakes you up but makes the tea too, and it comes with 'his & hers' mugs. My only change would be 'mine & also mine' mugs ;) well, I'd hate to see it go to waste…
Oh and santa, If you've got the time, I would like the tasty eye-candy in the green shirt from the latest Lacoste advert. Giftwrapped (a strategically placed bow will suffice) and placed at the end of my bed. You can? Brilliant! Love you forever Kringle darling, you're a saint! Ahaha yes indeed you are, I astound myself with my own wit.
Big love to you all, and I'll leave you with this from the Pogues
Merry Christmas you arse!
I couldn't have put it better
Until I return for new year, have a cosy Christmas. :)
December 13, 2005
December 10, 2005
I swear I touched nothing. I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove a thing…
On a related note, I vote it be renamed "T'Interweb". w00t! :)
December 02, 2005
...Essentially a page of links* :)
*should all be continuously updated
Ctrl+Alt+Del Penny Arcade Sinfest Dinosaur Comics Bunny Goats The Creatures In My Head Men In Hats Questionable Content The Perry Bible Fellowship Weebl’s Stuff Under Power Apple Geeks little Gamers White Ninja Comics VG Cats Weebl and Bob Pearls Before Swine
Links & Stuff
b3ta Cake Or Death Punctuation Text Generator
Kenya Lapland b3ta Question Of The Week something Awful TeamFishcake Worth 1000= Urban Dictionary Optical Illusions Kitten Screen Cleaner What Happens If I…? Worth 1000 word Filter Ze Frank Post Secret Grocery Store Wars The Straight Dope Bash.org Timothy McSweeney’s Lists Nice Cup Of Tea And A Sit Down Dilbert Blog Googlism Pure Gummi Evil Squirrel Fishing pastaaaaaaaargh Sam, World’s Ugliest Dog Toogle Woogle Danger: Bread BBC News The Register Ananova News Google Answers Wikipedia Biosoc Warwick Pride BBC Radio Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About The Truth Laid Bear Project Steve Freewebs TVGoHome Blogger