All entries for July 2005

July 25, 2005


Well, my weeks of I.T.-less suffering begin in 2 days and it's already hurting me now.

No internet, no msn, no yahoo, no computer, no warcraft, no age of empires, no 27gb of music, no land-line telephone, no mobile phone, no videos, no dvds, no freeview digital tv, no radio, no friends, no chance of survival.

So happy holidays everybody!
If i'm not back for the new term you'll know what happened.

Erm… so yeah…

Ok, I have nothing else to say really. Biiig hugs, and here's a monkey to keep you entertained while I'm away. I don't know how. Maybe just name it or something or get creative with photoshop. Whatever floats your boat you kerayzee bunch of people you…

M xxx

July 20, 2005

Why the internet is better than sex

I have had no internet connection in the past 5 days and much to my dismay I ALMOST GODDAMN DIED AN AWFUL MIND-NUMBED DEATH!

I was only just pulled back from the event-horizon of doom by some heroic friends and a 4 hour trip to the pub. I owe these brave people my life. Yes you wenches, I love you all!

But back to the title, 5 days without sex does not make me want to rip people's heads off, or storm the BT customer advice call centre with a large bag of sharpened ninja stealth throwing-kippers.

However, cruel fate giveth and then cruel fate taketh away. In seven days I have to say goodbye to my computer for 8 weeks. So I can spend some "quality time" on "holiday" with my family. I'l be easy to reach afterwards though, just click the link entitled "Three found dead in southern Spain stabbed to death with sharpened seafood. Daughter implicated in the murder."

"No computer and no internet make mia… something, something…"
"Go crazy?"
"Don't mind if I do! WOOooOOoo woowoowoo eeeeeeppeeeeaaaaarrrgh wrrraaaaarrrgggh!! Wooooo…"

Oh and did I mention they don't have tea or chocolate there…

M xxx

July 12, 2005

“Al contacto con el amor, todos se vuelven poetas” – Platón

Si estás enojado con alguien, y nadie hace nada por arreglar la situación… arréglala tú.
Tal vez hoy, esa persona todavía quiera ser tu amigo, pero si no lo arreglas…
… tal vez mañana sea muy tarde.

Si estás enamorado de alguien, pero esa persona lo lo sabe… díselo.
Tal vez hoy, esa persona también esté enamorada de ti, pero si no se lo dices hoy…
… tal vez mañana sea muy tarde.

Si te mueres de ganas por darle un beso a alguien… dáselo.
Tal vez esa persona también quiere un beso tuyo, pero si no se lo das hoy…
… tal vez mañana sea muy tarde.

Si todavía amas a una persona que crees que te ha olvidado… díselo.
Tal vez esa persona siempre te ha amado, pero si no se lo dices hoy…
… tal vez mañana sea muy tarde.

Si necesitas un abrazo de un amigo… pídeselo.
Tal vez él lo necesite más que tú, pero si no se lo pides hoy…
… tal vez mañana sea muy tarde.

Si de verdad tienes amigos a los cuales aprecias… díselos hoy.
Tal vez ellos también te aprecien, pero si se van o se alejan…
… tal vez mañana sea muy tarde.

Si quieres a tus papás, y nunca has tenido la oportunidad de demonstrarselo… hazlo.
Tal vez hoy, los tienes ahí para hacerlo, pero si se van…
… tal vez mañana sea muy tarde.

Expressa lo que tu corazón intenta decir, no lo que tu imaginación te hace pensar.

– Anon –


Diabetes inducingly sweet but I still like it. However it's a lot easier to agree with a sentiment than to actually live by it. I am such an eternal procrastinator that sometimes, when I realise how quickly time is passing, it can actually be quite scary. Get stuff done. Get it done today.
maybe tomorrow will be too late.

July 11, 2005

Strictly Ballroom

Go. Now. Rent it. Watch it.

Or not. Y'know, whatever… It's not like I'm threatening you with death or anything…

It's Australian based, Baz Luhrmann produced, dancing fueled, beauteous wonderfullness. Combining great dancers, gorgeous dresses, good looking lead guy and an ugly-ducking-to-swan leading lady. The finale is oh so predictable but who cares.

I love this film. It's a chick flick. I'm a chick, so sue me.


Here's to dreaming of the impossibly happy endings against all odds. Regardless of the heartbreaks that preceed them, or however hopeless they may seem. Sometimes the dream is all you have, sometimes it's all you need… And among the mush and soppyness of the previous few lines I guess there is a serious fragment of truth; If you can drag yourself out from under the avalanche of puppies, teddies, flowers and heart-shaped scatter cushions long enough to find it.

A word of warning however: Guys, if your lady makes you watch this then you'd better think long and hard about what you did to deserve it. And never do it again. No one dies, there are no guns or violence and it is romantic and has a happy ending. At one point some bins are knocked over and that. is. it.

Say you're sorry, and chances are you'll be fine.

Now; where's the rest of that popcorn? I think some dramatic sighing and wistful glances are in order, coupled with impossibly swoony background music, a sheepskin rug, chocolates and a bubble machine. Damn I love being a girl.

M xxx

July 08, 2005


As of today and until further notice, it would appear that I have:

  • no Yahoo messenger - thanks dad; apparently it makes the computer "too slow". whatever...
  • no MSN messenger - Aaaaaaaarrrrgggghhh! It's not that I've blocked you ok! Well... no, seriously ;)
  • and practically no internet connection - as it seems to have slowed down to a snails pace. No worse than that, in fact I’d be better off with dial-up. Good God where is the justice! I cannot live under these conditions. It’s taken me over an hour and a half just to connect and post this. Now that's determination.

Woo and yay for me then. It’s going to be sooooo much fun
So err… I love you all but it may be some time before I can persuade this computer to let me blog again. In the meantime I guess the comment-whores can come out to play (you all know who you are) and Tom, this means “Something Random” is all yours for now. Blog, but no monkey business ok?! I mean it! *tries to look intimidating

Goodbye for now fair blogosphere, as I return to the internet-free pit from whence I came…

Aaaaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! NNNOOOOOooooo…


M xxx

July 04, 2005

Practice makes perfect.


It's a skill that needs to be finely tuned. It's not a past-time that you can really indulge in half heartedly, just letting stuff fall out of your cupboard and into a bowl and expecting it to be edible. You need planning and preparation, oh and carefully documented results

My own field of expertise is the carbonification of a wide range of food groups. This extends to, and far beyond, the simple assassination of a slice of bread. In my household people fear for the safety of their pans.

My technique is easy to learn but difficult to master. Simply leaving the oven/hob/grill/bbq to it's own devices is not enough, there has to be a degree of time and urgency involved. For example, with toast it must be the last edible piece of toast in existance within the vicinity of the house and you must have only 5 minutes left to eat in before you run out to gibbet hill for a 6 hour lab session. The only clean cutlery will be a whisk, a potato masher, a novelty peeler, a carving knife and a teaspoon and the only clean surface a placemat that you grab from the top of a cupboard. Mould limits you to a choice of marmite or pesto. No. Wait. That's not… Ok marmite it is then. Ponder on the irony that marmite is the only edible topping available and it's actually made from bacteria. And suddenly the toast is gone. Replaced, while your back was turned, by a flaming lump of curling embers. Flaring up as if to say to the grill "now this is what a fecking fire looks like you pansy".

Stab with carving knife and deposit in sink. Swear. Run out of house.

Pasta is a lot more impressive, for starters it's in a pan full of water. daunting for the amateur but not for the more experienced 'chef'. Ideally start with twice the amount of pasta you intend to eat, add water and place on hob. Go play minesweeper. Forget about food just long enough for the bottom half to have fused into a large brown mass. carefully remove top half, rinse, serve, then throw away; because it'll just taste of disgusting burntness.

Hmmm what else. Rice is also good although the best results require substantial distraction. Maybe a very involving msn conversation. Or a film. Get into a good book or immerse yourself in a computer game. Having a very poor sense of smell is the speshul gift that helps me here.

The rice will have gone black except for a small patch in the centre which will be a less-than-appealing shade of brown and issuing forth great plumes of black smoke into the kitchen. Scream and wave hands in the air. If it is dark outside open the back door to let the smoke out and get accosted by huge winged insect beasties; again, scream and wave hands in the air. Plunge pan into sink and use a fork to remove the encrusted rice-shite. At this point your fork will snap, but it died for the greater good. Salute fork and ceremoniously bury it… in flatmates head. The words "cooking? *snigger*" were not appreciated. Resort to using a knife, boiling in vinegar, boiling in coke, scouring, soaking, in bleach, water, flash and ajax. Discard housmate and repeat process on pan. Give up and leave pan at the mercy of the thing that lives at the back of the kitchen cupboard.

At this point it could be argued that maybe I only consistently burn things suspended in water; this is not so. To disprove this theory I attempted to cook a turkey fillet and hash browns. For this great task I summoned the procrastinative powers of the blog. And family guy. 2 hours later I assessed my 'meal'. Much to my surprise the fillet had gained weight and the hash browns had lost some; paperlight and black and shiny they were hollow inside and could be crushed between my fingers. The fillet on the other hand could have had it's edge sharpened to a fine blade and used to part our noisy (ex) neighbours from their heads.

However, today I surpassed all my prevous attempts and managed to burn soup – and a pretty watery soup at that. One day not too far away I will burn water; I've already managed coffee, I think tea is the next step.

I must admit, not all of my success can be attributed to my own endeavour. Genetics surely comes into play and credit must here be given to my mother, a woman who once tried to toast crackerbread – with spectacular results. Bless.

M xxx

July 02, 2005

Never ever ever say

"Go on, have a drink while we're out"

to a student. You may well regret it later. *sigh* when will my parents learn…

So, what do you get when you mix a dash each of:

  • apricot schnapps
  • vodka
  • Galliano
  • triple-sec curacao
  • martini rosso
    then add ~3 times the volume of the resulting mixture in cranberry and raspberry juice. Add a handfull of heart shaped icecubes, stir, et voila!


The answer is, I have no idea what is is but it is tasty and also nameless. So what is it to be? A "girl's night in"? A "happy valentine"? – because of the hearts. A "pink mule" - in reference to not only the hefty kick but also a gorgeous pair of shoes.

Any suggestions? Go on… I need a laugh. And as an added bonus, if you win I'll give a long-winded speech about how funny/amazing/clever/humanoid you are whenever I drink one. You see if I don't. I always keep my promises, especially if they are alcohol related.

July 2005

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