The OTHER Motivational Calendar – January
Wed 18th: "I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich"
Yeah, despite the fact they're probably the reason he's a hell of a lot poorer than he could be. Only 18 days in and this wad of paper is already making me feel irritable. So here is my NEW calendar, it may be made up from random quotes from all over the place but I think you'll find it a lot more interesting than theirs... and I gave sundays a phrase... and they're blasphemous. Ah yes, delightful. Bring on February…
- "Heaven: If You Don't Know Where It Is, What Makes You Think You Can Get There?"
- "If Only Closed Minds Came With Closed Mouths"
- "Saftey tip of the day: always wear condoms because you never know when life is gonna screw you."
- "Life is a STD, and it's terminal too."
- "Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
- "Life blows. Death sucks. It's nature's balance."
- "How intelligent do you have to be to design an idiot?"
- "Believe Those Who Seek the Truth, Doubt Those Who Find It."
- "Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard and be evil."
- "Nothing is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity"
- The line below is true
The line above is false
- "A restraining order is just another way to say I love you."
- "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it throw stones in glass houses."
- "The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him!"
- "What Would Scooby Doo?"
- "There are three things I can count on, death and my inability to do math."
- "Your pants don't make you look fat, it's your body"
- "Boredom can't kill you, but sometimes you wish it would."
- "Do not underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups".
- "Good friends help you move. Great friends help you move bodies."
- "There Never Was A Good War or a Bad Peace."
- "You will never get to heaven with an Ak 47… But A Flack Tank is good for Low Flying Cherubim"
- "Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions."
- "There's always one more idiot than you counted on!"
- "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
- "Ignorance, Nature's way of thinning the herd."
- "True or false: This statement is a lie."
- "Any Book Worth Banning Is A Book Worth Reading"
- "Save The Gay Baby Whales For Jesus!"
- "Blessed Are Those Who Can Laugh At Themselves, For They Will Never Cease To Be Amused."
- "Deal With Reality or Reality will Deal with You"
Huzzah for January!