April 11, 2006

The lost art of letter writing

Nothing should be this tricky.

Imagine, if you will, that you have an hour to spare. You also happen to have a proof of student status letter that took 5 weeks to get to you after going to university house three time. On top of this the Council have just sent you a Council tax bill that will cause you to be out of pocket to the tune of very many shiny pennies. In such a situation one would sit down, scribe off a lovely cover letter on some sheet of high gsm, official looking parchment before signing it with a flourish and enclosing it neatly with said student status letter in an envelope.

That is what would happen in an ideal world. A world of magic and fairies that I don't happen to live in.

Two envelopes later I had the address written out correctly. Then came the schoolboy error of "recieve". Several spelling mistakes and five pages of A4 later I realised I was writing it in a different ink colour to the envelope. Now, this concerned my aesthetics but, by now rather miffed, I ploughed on regardless. I needn't have worried. Half way through the 6th attempt my pen dies. I scribble all over the page and open the barrel to see what's wrong. As it turns out the ink barrel had exploded all over the interior of the pen and consequently all over my fingers. The 7th attempt is foiled by fingerprints and an unconscious attempt to spell "division" with a P.

Now, on my eighth attempt I get serious. Panic is setting in from the sheer incredulity at my own stupitity. I start to doubt my own ability to write in a straight line so I have to get out the ruler… It's like bloody pre-school.

One hour and a half from starting it's complete. which works out at about 30 minutes per sentence. I look at it in awe as if the ink is tainted with gold before retardedly making a right pigs ear of the folding.


I think if I don't replace my printer's ink cartrige soon I may have to resort to some kind of stationary related death just to put me out of my mistery. It's extreme emotional exaustion! I'd write another letter to sue them but that would involve writing the address out again and I'm not sure my poor little heart could take it.

Ha, can't wait to see what happens during the 9 hours of exam essays. Yes, it should be interesting…

M xxx


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  1. As long as they can read the first and last letter of every word they should be able to work out what it says… :)

    I just sent a post it note with a photocopy of my student card to the council to get exemption.

    11 Apr 2006, 21:12

  2. LOL that's fantastic! You could have gone round to my house and nabbed my printer, it's sitting doing nothing until next week, and I daresay Shane would've been pleased to see anyone living, but that would have been far less entertaining!

    11 Apr 2006, 22:56

  3. Why not 'typy typy typy' print ?

    12 Apr 2006, 00:27

  4. When Warwick District Council came round my house, they viewed my student card and asked me to send a photocopy of my housemates. Then I get threatened with court action because I'm not registered as a student. Instead of going to the pen, I go to the phone line and the counterthreats. At which point they cried, admitting they were wrong and gave me time to send a copy of my student card.


    12 Apr 2006, 00:31

  5. Mia:

    Panic is setting in from the sheer incredulity at my own stupitity.

    Um… (yes, you did type that).


    they… asked me to send a photocopy of my housemates.

    I wish I could photocopy my housemates.

    Hellooo Mia!

    12 Apr 2006, 11:11

  6. Somebody stole a word out my sentence. 5!

    12 Apr 2006, 17:37

  7. Mia spotted me playing frisbee, she is one lucky sexy lady.

    12 Apr 2006, 19:07

  8. Yeah the post-it note occurred to me too but only after I'd written the damn thing!

    Heh, I probably should have – didn't know anyone was there. And I still can't stop myself from saying Sheee-an :D

    Alas, I would have but i have no inky-ink-ink, and as I only thought it would take a second I was too lazy to go ont campus.

    The council are indeed fucktards sometime but the real muppets in this case were warwick. I had eo go there three times and fill in that bloody form and they only managed to get it to me in the last week of term, by which time it had become such a running joke in the house that we couldn't believe it when it finally got here. :| Stoopids.

    True. Funny. Hellooooo too!

    You sunk my battleship!

    Lucky lucky lucky! and I saw Chris too, and neither of you saw me! For I, like squirrels, am a ninja! ;)

    12 Apr 2006, 22:47

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