September 16, 2005

Errrrrrr…

Writing about web page http://www.naveljewellery.co.uk/acatalog/Navel_Jewellery_New_Additions.html

Could somebody please tell me why anybody would ever wish to wear a jewelled sperm belly bar. Why, people! Why!


Seriously, what designer sat down and thought
"Hmmm… I think I will base my designs this season on bodily fluids, spunk is sooo 'in' right now."
And what's worse, someone actually listened and decided
"WOW, what an amazing idea."

What about this monstrosity: or a similar beauty, declaring in a rather euphoric script "jism" What is wrong with you all?

My mind fills with disturbing images of unfortunately attired girls with names like shayneesha-babycham-channel Jones, ostentatiously smoking and displaying as much flesh as legally possible. Swathes of pasty-white puppy fat wriggling free from a size 8 top in some violent colour that abuses the retina with it's neon glare. And there, floating like a distant atoll amidst it all, and glowing under the litten tree blacklight like a flare, this misshaped lump of metal announces "Cunt" to the world.

Don't worry sweetie, i'd say it was pretty obvious anyway.


- 4 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. argh

    16 Sep 2005, 23:47

  2. do I win?

    16 Sep 2005, 23:47

  3. Ah yes madam, something like this perhaps?

    Oh and look, you appear to have made an interesting headpiece from copper wire. How lovely! I think it sets off the sovereign rings a treat.

    Oh do cheer up dear, you look as if your water's just broken

    I think I should win, even though I'm not sure what the prize is

    And if you haven't already seen it, check out the South Park epispde "Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset"; so right, yet so so wrong

    21 Sep 2005, 02:40

  4. Dear God Paul, that's beautiful isn't it. I've got the horrible feeling that one of us is going to be inundated with orders from wee little chavlings that don't get s-a-r-c-a-s-m.
    Ah well, such is the price we pay…
    Oh and I think the prize ended up being a badge that says "w1nNar'd" across the front. tho I could be wrong.

    23 Sep 2005, 15:33


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