January 09, 2007

Dissertation?

How to get it write.

  1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
  2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
  4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  5. Avoid clichés like the plague.
  6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
  7. Be more or less specific.
  8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
  9. One should never generalise.
  10. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
  11. Don’t use no double negatives.
  12. Eschew ampersands, & abbreviations etc.
  13. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
  14. Understatement is always the best way to put forward earth shaking ideas.
  15. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
  16. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  17. Who need rhetorical questions?
  18. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  19. One word sentences? Eliminate.
    And finally…
  20. Proof read carefully to see if you any words out.

Anon.

:) M xxx


- 2 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. teehee, grammar geek funnies

    09 Jan 2007, 22:13

  2. Indeedy. Although there must be people in existence who just don’t get it. Dear God, the poor buggers…

    10 Jan 2007, 14:00


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