June 27, 2006

Diary of a Graduand; Day 2

8:41 pm.
It's day two in the Big Brother Bother house. Mia is in the bedroom listening to playlists created by typing random crap into her WMP search bar ("bla": 72 hits, "jam": 72 hits). She is also drinking tea. She can't believe how bored she is or how much toast she has eaten. And so she enters the Blog Diary Room.

BB: Hello Mia. What's on your mind?
M: Boooooored! I'm so Bored! I have a fridge full of food I don't feel like eating and a kitchen full of alcohol that I can't touch because of my driving test tomorrow. AAaaaaaarrrggghh…

———

Actually the contents of the fridge are rather interesting. All the items present are in small amounts: 1 broccoli; 2 lettuces; 2 packets ham; 1 pack of yogurts; etcetera. It all looks normal except for one outstanding statistic. Why in gods green earth would we need 12 full packets of butter?! Honestly, why? The only other thing that comes close is the 7 pots of pesto still loitering around. It's a mystery.

But don't think I've just been counting butter all day long. Oh no, far from it. Driving, eating, CV–ing, sewing a gorgeous dress and so many other things besides. Yes I put mere mortals to shame. But just like mortals I have been unable to wish a television into existance. Not even the ceremonial sacrifice of an unblemished goat helped. And then a wheely bin fell on me. Admittedly it's been a mixed bag of achievements.

Dinner looks to be a more successful venture. I sacrificed a large frozen doughy cheese–topped disc in an oven–pyre and magically food appeared. Maybe the gods don't hate me after all…

M xxx

———

NB. Have identified strange fridge growth. Possibly hostile. Questioning viability of a tupperware rescue attempt. Strategic bleach bombing may be necessary.


- 4 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. Good luck for tomorrow! I'm sure it'll go fine :–)

    27 Jun 2006, 21:06

  2. Pesto is something people buy full of optimism about their cooking abilities/willpower and then never use. It's also the biggest single cause of interdimensional space/time vortices being opened in fridges and allowing aliens (which are best decribed as "strange fridge growths") through. We have no idea if they are peaceful as they generally speak German and we don't.

    27 Jun 2006, 21:15

  3. Dave tCB

    Congrats on degree!!!! Good luck with driving test. Pass the time by looking up butter–heavy recipes on the net. There again, maybe not.

    27 Jun 2006, 22:57

  4. 2 lettuces

    Lettuces?! 2 Letti, woman! Letti!!

    Hmm looking at the time and therefore realising that half the day has gone, one assumes you're either all licensed up or giving a statement to the police… Hopes it went well though

    28 Jun 2006, 12:43


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