Well, with the “resits” of yesterday out of the way I am slowly but surely returning to a “normal”(i.e. crazy) state of mind and promise to be a lot more interesting than I was last week. *promises*
Back in The Bubble.
And suddenly there are new faces everywhere, all bright eyed and bushy tailed. Running here and there sporting eager expressions; scurrying around with handfuls of nuts and running up trees. (maybe putting on makeup while they’re up there) or possibly disguising themselves as cars or signposts. Yes, the evil squirrels have brought in new recruits in my absence. But I’m too old and battle scarred to fall for their ploys. This is one third year who will be keeping her fingers. All of them. Attached to her hand. So she can drink tea and eat biscuits without the aid of mechanical contraptions.
But in all honesty being back on campus is Teh Good, and bringing back all sorts of lovely memories. Only just yesterday, walking to gibbet hill with long-time coursemates we paused at the old waiting spot outside Rootes J block and reminisced about the first year. Gathering there at 8:45 am, waiting for me. Waiting more. Calling my mobile. Hearing me answer with a “Bleurgh-arrrrr-aaagghhh-wha-tha-faaack?!?!” and the sound of someone falling out of bed. Ahhh good times… good times…
So far I’ve managed to miss the first two lectures of term. And I’ve rediscovered an addiction to boost bars regardless of the fact they taste like ming. Piddle.
Hello All You Strange New Crazy People.
Yes. I called you all strange, you freaks. You vast lot of unique individuals. See? It was a compliment, so chill. It’s when I start calling people “average” and “normal” (or indeed BEIGE *ahem*) that one should commence worrying. So anyway. As it’s the beginning of term and I’m feeling in such a giving mood since the abatement of the revision. Here are the words of advice I offer you.
- just keep your uni card on you wherever you go. It solves 98% of problems (excluding wild goose attack) In fact have it grafted onto your arm and you’ll be sorted.
- Invest in a never ending supply of tea such as secret tunnels to plantations or lovely grandparents.
- Don't plan to miss lectures. chances are you'll miss enough without even trying. And Murphy's law dictates that the ones you miss deliberately will be the most important
- Don't get caught. Most things are only wrong if you get caught. An alibi is an invaluable resource.
- Send stuff in the mail to friends. Get them to send stuff back. It's been calculated that for the average student a package received in the mail releases twice as much endorphins as landing on the moon. Endorphins are good.
- Don't get addicted to e-comics. Just don't, they are the consumers of time and ruiners of degrees. Here follows a large number of links to e-comics for you to not click and not get addicted to. Bunny Sinfest CtrlAltDel Penny Arcade Men in Hats Goats Questionable Content The Crearures in my Head Dinosaur Comics
- equally don't get addicted to the games that come with windows, especially not minesweeper.
- or rococo frescatos.
- You're on campus. Take full advantage of this fact, you'll miss the short stumble home later. And take time to laugh at the queue for the RAG cloakroom because that's your sad, sorry future right there.
- Mourne the loss of DC++. It was faster than a greased weasel in freefall.
- Freeze bread. It stops it evolving any further than is absolutely necessary.
- Prevention is better than cure. Keep a decent stockpile of chocolate to fend off chocolate-withdrawal-psychosis. Plus lads, it lures in the laydeez.
- Have post-night-out food on standby for when you get back. Then laugh heartily as you tuck into hot chilli con carne on rice/pasta/toast/whatever while your mates try to coax some joy out of a pot noodle.
- Leave your alarm on the steel sink (in Rootes) it sounds goddamn awful at 8:15 am on a tuesday morning but it works.
- Develop an all-encompassing addiction to pirates and ninjas. It's going to happen anyway so you may as well be prepared.
And if you don't already have a blog, just get one. Write, come to socials, drink, meet
scary people in need of psychoanalysis lots of lovely friendly people. In fact, the first fresher to accost (read: "greet") me at the social gets a prize. At the moment all I have on offer is a pink novelty toothpick shaped like a naked ladyfish. Oh yes, no expense spared. And then you can spend the whole evening poking people. now there's an offer you can't refuse.
Oh and drink tea. well. Y'know. If you like it. If you don't you can jump into a pit lined with spikes. I hear that's pretty fun too.