All entries for Tuesday 27 June 2006

June 27, 2006

Diary of a Graduand; Day 2

8:41 pm.
It's day two in the Big Brother Bother house. Mia is in the bedroom listening to playlists created by typing random crap into her WMP search bar ("bla": 72 hits, "jam": 72 hits). She is also drinking tea. She can't believe how bored she is or how much toast she has eaten. And so she enters the Blog Diary Room.

BB: Hello Mia. What's on your mind?
M: Boooooored! I'm so Bored! I have a fridge full of food I don't feel like eating and a kitchen full of alcohol that I can't touch because of my driving test tomorrow. AAaaaaaarrrggghh…


Actually the contents of the fridge are rather interesting. All the items present are in small amounts: 1 broccoli; 2 lettuces; 2 packets ham; 1 pack of yogurts; etcetera. It all looks normal except for one outstanding statistic. Why in gods green earth would we need 12 full packets of butter?! Honestly, why? The only other thing that comes close is the 7 pots of pesto still loitering around. It's a mystery.

But don't think I've just been counting butter all day long. Oh no, far from it. Driving, eating, CV–ing, sewing a gorgeous dress and so many other things besides. Yes I put mere mortals to shame. But just like mortals I have been unable to wish a television into existance. Not even the ceremonial sacrifice of an unblemished goat helped. And then a wheely bin fell on me. Admittedly it's been a mixed bag of achievements.

Dinner looks to be a more successful venture. I sacrificed a large frozen doughy cheese–topped disc in an oven–pyre and magically food appeared. Maybe the gods don't hate me after all…

M xxx


NB. Have identified strange fridge growth. Possibly hostile. Questioning viability of a tupperware rescue attempt. Strategic bleach bombing may be necessary.

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