All entries for Wednesday 15 June 2005

June 15, 2005

Where is everybody?!

Seriously.

where where where?!

you're all having a party without me aren't you. That's the only conclusion. Shame on you all for being so cruel. 18/66 MSN contacts online and none of you can be bothered to communicate. "away" my ass.

I have sunshine, outrageous high-heels, wine, music and food What more could you want. tsk some people…

The end of exams is supposed to be exiting and fun. Instead I'm feeling almost bored to tears waiting for other people to finish too.

I've taped my revision notes together into a rather delightful cocktail dress; I've re-enacted starwars with a variety of vegetables; I've accidentally cooked my hash-browns and turkey escalope for 2 hours; I've made a cocoon out of my bedding; read a book; sunbathed; drank wine; listened to music; sung karaoke; tidied; organised my jewellery; showered, drawn up a huge sign to hang in my window calling my neighbours "wankers"; pranced around my room in pretty heels; sunbathed on a blanket in the garden; had more cups of tea than could be considered healthy; eaten tiramisu with a long spoon; blogged; changed clothes; three times; run up and down the stairs; experimented with primal scream therapy; the list is practically endless.

And now I am bored. BOOOOOOOOREEEEEDDD I tell you! Oh God. does this ennui know no ends!...

Oh.

being asked out to the pub….

Damn you Dave for ruining the only decent piece of alcohol fueled self pity and grief I've ever had the enebriated pleasure to post. Well… actually no. Don't damn you. Thankyou :D yay! What an anticlimax to a rant eh? How cheated do you feel now for reading this drivel and then finding that nobody was killed in a fit of rage at the end. Really?! that cheated? Ok, ok. *kills passerby* there you go. What do you mean that's cruel? Who did I kill then? You see you don't even know them, so quit complaining. Now excuse me while I pull together an outfit to match these fabulous shoes…

M xxx


Food poisoning?!

Ah no, not in this house. Not anymore…

Not with the food police in town raising awareness to the hazzards of lax hygene standards. Ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you have a housemate who persistantly leaves raw chicken breasts on a plate a few cm too small, dripping yummy salmonella juice all over the table, fridge, worktop or wherever else they see fit?

  • Are you always clingfilming it for them out of the goodness of your own heart?

  • Are they stubbornly refusing to pay any attention to basic food safety even when you point it out. Every. Single. Time?

Yes to all three?
Well maybe it's time to go vigilante on their ass. Arm yourself (or David) with clingfilm, silver foil, sellotape, carrier bags and duct tape then 3… 2… 1… GO!

et voila:

Got it now? COVER THE GODDAMN DEFROSTING CHICKEN YOU WENCHES.

or is this unnecessarily harsh…?

M xxx


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