All entries for Tuesday 14 June 2005

June 14, 2005

Contents may settle during transit…

…Or in some cases change beyond all recognition.

even emails.

It happens all the time, a classic example of PEBCAK. Maybe you were too engrossed in your revision or more likely some fine piece of ass walked by and caught your entire central nervous system off guard causing you to send an email/comment without double checking the actual content. this could then result in making you look:

A) Stupid
B) Suggestive *nudge-nudge wink-wink say no more, eh?*
C) Upset
D) Angry
E) Other: ___
F) All of the above.

I mention this because I did the worst thing possible. I replied to an email received from a random shmo (thankfully not through the blog systems). It was an online friend thing and I was being friendly – I don't really make a habit of corresponding with my spammers.

The entire event was over in 3 emails, yet I can't help feel that somethere between my reply and his one of us got the wrong end of the stick. For the sake of protecting the identy of this poor lad we'll refer to him here as Mr Freak-Who-Expects-People-I-Contact-Out-Of-The-Blue-To-Draw-Porn-For-Me or maybe just Freak for short.

Message:
may i ask wat ur good at drawing or designing.
Freak

You see… what a pleasant email. I would be delighted to reply, and converse with possibly another part-time artist…

Message:
Hi Freak,
I just dabble around in photoshop when i have the time – which is not nearly enough! At the moment i've only really attempted cartoon/comic style illustrations, nothing too photorealistic. There are a couple of pics on my profile but the compression really kills. What kind of artwork do you do?
Mia

Now. Are you still with me? You might want to read over those two emails again if it helps, but the general gist is:

  • "hello, what do you draw?"
  • "Hello. Lots of things, what do you draw?"

Got that?

Bearing all that in mind, this is the response I got:

Message:
it's got 2 be a woman like lara croft, resident evel woman and underworld woman. in mini skirt fishnets and boob tube. showing her fangs dripping with blood. she can have knifes on her hips and carrying guns if u want. black long or short hair. biggish boobs. long legs with gr8 thighs. ankle goth boots or thigh high boots. red lipstick.
noe it's up2 u what stlye like manga or type of cartoon style u want to do. drawing can be a4 size or smaller.
Freak

wtf?!

Now children, can anyone spot the nonsequitor?
Yes that's correct, It's the Whole. Frigging. Email.

But back to my original point, was there some hidden innuendo in my reply or did I just fail to interpret his ten word sentence correctly? Or did my reply somehow mutate in it's leap across cyberspace into some freaky pimping manifestation of its former self? Unfortunately the simplest answer, and the most likely, is that people are freaks.

So… lesson for today?

People Are Freaks. and there's nothing you can do but live with it.

Damn

M xxx


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