All entries for Tuesday 11 April 2006

April 11, 2006

The lost art of letter writing

Nothing should be this tricky.

Imagine, if you will, that you have an hour to spare. You also happen to have a proof of student status letter that took 5 weeks to get to you after going to university house three time. On top of this the Council have just sent you a Council tax bill that will cause you to be out of pocket to the tune of very many shiny pennies. In such a situation one would sit down, scribe off a lovely cover letter on some sheet of high gsm, official looking parchment before signing it with a flourish and enclosing it neatly with said student status letter in an envelope.

That is what would happen in an ideal world. A world of magic and fairies that I don't happen to live in.

Two envelopes later I had the address written out correctly. Then came the schoolboy error of "recieve". Several spelling mistakes and five pages of A4 later I realised I was writing it in a different ink colour to the envelope. Now, this concerned my aesthetics but, by now rather miffed, I ploughed on regardless. I needn't have worried. Half way through the 6th attempt my pen dies. I scribble all over the page and open the barrel to see what's wrong. As it turns out the ink barrel had exploded all over the interior of the pen and consequently all over my fingers. The 7th attempt is foiled by fingerprints and an unconscious attempt to spell "division" with a P.

Now, on my eighth attempt I get serious. Panic is setting in from the sheer incredulity at my own stupitity. I start to doubt my own ability to write in a straight line so I have to get out the ruler… It's like bloody pre-school.

One hour and a half from starting it's complete. which works out at about 30 minutes per sentence. I look at it in awe as if the ink is tainted with gold before retardedly making a right pigs ear of the folding.

Christ

I think if I don't replace my printer's ink cartrige soon I may have to resort to some kind of stationary related death just to put me out of my mistery. It's extreme emotional exaustion! I'd write another letter to sue them but that would involve writing the address out again and I'm not sure my poor little heart could take it.

Ha, can't wait to see what happens during the 9 hours of exam essays. Yes, it should be interesting…

M xxx

3.0


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