All entries for Saturday 10 September 2005

September 10, 2005

Return of The Procrastinator

Tadaaaaa!!! I'm back.

Um… ok… Well I had expected more fireworks, confetti and stuff but silence is also good I guess. I'm taking it as a big round of welcoming silence. woo and yay!

Six weeks without blogging and I don't have a clue where to start, for starters blogbuilder has gone all peculiar. I have tags and keywords and a rather appealing Technorati ping. No idea what it does (research will indeed follow) but I am the kind of person who craves to press buttons 'just because' incase anything interesting happens. Hence there is no toaster in my house - the possibilities are just too scary. But rambling aside maybe the biggest change appears to be that, well... how do I say this... my blog is rather "aesthetically challenged". I think that's the best way to put it. This will be addressed in the coming year when* I decide to attempt to learn CSS

Still, at last I've been reunited with my darling computer *mwah* and my brick-shaped portable telecommunications device. But I've bought it a new dangly toy thingy that has bells and flashes when somebody calls, so hopefully it still loves me. I don't care what the other people say, when it comes to awesome gadgets money can buy you love. Unfortunately, now if I ever get mugged there'll be something half decent on my phone for them to steal, my only escape plan had been to wave my phone at them and run away while they fall to the ground laughing at me. It's one of the only man-made objects visible from space, along with the great wall of china and occasionally my hair.

And so on to the holidays. I guess the entire experience can be summed up in this image:

However, even with the issues outlined in my previous post it was still very enjoyable but I won't bore the world with details; Instead here's a whole lot of words and pictures outlining my activities.

  • sun, sea, surf, more sun, burning, ow ow ow! but eventually yummy tan.
  • getting stabbed in the stomach by some crazy lady with one of these
  • getting attacked by assorted beasties while trying to lighten hair with lemons – not fun but the lemons worked.
  • going to a 11pm to 8am beach party with 500,000 other people – and clinging onto my friend for dear life
  • Oh. So. Much. Foamy. Fun.
  • 5am pool party with 7 guys… who decided to strip… and the subsequent grounding that followed.
  • ending up in ann summers with my mother and asking for tit-tape while surrounded by cans of spunk and boxes of chocolate cocks (they only had bondage tape apparently)
  • discovering a type of fish whose name roughly translates as "bumflaps". And are actually rather tasty.
  • buying pretty shooooooooeeeesss :D
  • getting wasted at an annual festival held in honour of a fish (the urta), which is just their excuse for a big party. And just for reference a litre of vodka costs £2.80. ok? £2.80. Here, getting wasted is a national sport and they train for it every friday and saurday. People sometimes get thrown into bushes but it's all good.
  • And being serenaded by 4 rather pissed spanish blokes with the "Bubbles of Love" song "Ai weesh i was a feesh so I could to wet mai nose eeen yor feeshbowl... la la la la la... and make bubbles of luuuuuvveee!! lalala laaaa..." sometimes there are just not enough adjectives in the world to describe things like that…

And now you need never be short of conversation starters when you bump into me down some dark narrow alleyway. Nevermind what I'm doing, what exactly are you doing there eh? and why is there an arm hanging out of that sack you're dragging? er… Well I guess in some circumstances the conversation starts itself. But dragging a corpse around with you can increase the chances. Not that I'm saying what you did was right. Now if you could just stay right there while I file this restraining order… Perfect. Now where were we? Oh you're five kilometres away are you? Nevermind then, catch you later, we'll do lunch sometime, ciao ciao darling, call me, mwah…

M xxx

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