All entries for Saturday 07 May 2005

May 07, 2005

Houseparty Etiquette

Houseparties are teh good. They may require a teenie bit of planning, but the usual combination of pizza, nachos, alcohol and friends rarely fails to produce an impressive evening. It's better if it's a birthday houseparty and even better yet if it's a joint birthday for three of the tennants.

What could go wrong?

Food: Iceland pizza, nuggets, whatever. David's famous Nachos. BBQ if the weather is nice.
Drink: Beer, wine & spirits. A rather dubious but lethal punch concoction. Tom & Mia's Italian-style homemade lemon liqueur (recipe later).
And then there's the guest list.
And that's where the trouble begins

Friends, housemates, coursemates, socs-mates and their partners are all carefully remembered, named and written down. And then you think and make sure that everyone is going to know at least a couple of other people and you try and remember if they're vegetarian or alergic to nuts or whatever. So far so good. My only problem arises when dealing with the ones you know you might not be inviting. The ones you havn't spoken to for months and months, that never make the effort to visit or talk, even over msn. They've turned down every invitation you've given them – including the last houseparty. And, to tell the truth, you're pretty sure you don't want them to be there, sitting in the corner ignoring everyone else and generally ruining the atmosphere. Now the question is do you

  • A : Invite them, hope they refuse and put up with it if they don't.
  • B : Ignore them and hope they don't find out, in which case you'd have to explain exactly why you havn't invited them, what you think of them and exactly where they can stick their complaints, shattering their perfect little bubble lives in the process.
  • or C : Officially Dis-invite them saving yourself the hassle

Now, at this point in the game option B looks pretty attractive but the other problems come into play. These people are joined at the hip to each other so any action is to all or none but a couple of them were decent people and you don't wish to offend. But equally you don't want them to all turn up and although you wouldn't be a bitch enough to turn them away, they would bring nothing positive to the gathering.

Aaaarrgh! I don't want them here, there'd be conflict with some really good friends that would be best avoided, but a disinvitation seems pretty harsh.

Damn politeness and etiquette! I think I'm reading too much into this, it should just be about having a good time with good friends. I'm going to run this past housemates #2 and #3 and see what we decide. Does anyone else have these issues with their houseparties? Or has anybody actually ever disinvited anyone?

Grrr...

M xxx


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