April 28, 2006

A follow up on interviews (serious and angst ridden…you have been warned)

Last one i accidentally had on just me, so to get that one some attention and provide a more serious take on interviews and allow me to let off some steam…..:

Basically in my opinion the system is fucked up. There are too many graduates chasing too few graduate jobs. The old system of "he went to a decent university got a 2.1 seems a nice sort we'll hire him" doesn't work. Now the power is with the employers. Compare this with 20 years ago when if you had a good degree from a top 10 university you could more or less take your pick from a whole host of well paid fun jobs.

There also seems to be an anti–intellectual bias in the workplace for all but the most "geeky" jobs. The buzz words are team skills and people skills. Even in jobs which involve spending all day glued to a desk number crunching (most city jobs)! People with better than required grades are viewed with suspicion…sure they're smart but are they introverted loners who have spent years hitting the books rather than being a team player and learning the "soft" skills. Will they question your authority rather than obediently "Yes Sirring" every request no matter how odious?

As graduates are very hard to differentiate on paper (even the jobs where my qualifications got me to the shortlist i was still up against around 50 candidates for the one job), the onus is on the interview. This gives an immediate advantage to those lucky souls who don't get completely tongue–tied with a mixture of nerves and adrenaline like i do, and those who can hide their irritation and boredom when asked stupid questions like:

What part do you usually play in a team?
(im the one who does the bare minimum and takes credit for the hard work of others)

How do you deal with difficult people? Give me an example
(generally i add them to my hit list and plot sadistic deaths for them in my spare time. Carry on asking me these stupid questions and you'll join the list)

Where do you see yourself in five years time
(in prison or in an institution)

What have you learnt from your work experience?
(that so long as you stay at your desk with the computer on and a look of intense concentration on your face, people don't realise you are actually spending your time figuring out how to spend your monthly salary or thinking which of the 200 channels on sky you are going to watch tonight)

How would you describe yourself?
(impossibly good looking, remarkably intelligent, charm personified and God's gift to women and hardworking…ok maybe the last is pushing it too far)

How do you deal with pressure?
(Sing la–la–la and engage in escapist activities like blogging until i forget all about my approaching econometrics project deadline)

How do you motivate yourself?
(isn't that supposed to be your problem?)

Anyway you get my drift.

What is worse is there are thousands of bushy tailed bunnies who would willingly sell their souls to prospective employers, offering a lifetime of serfdom in return for a decent salary. These strange animals glow with lust and give you poisonous glances at group assessments while beaming at the executives. They have prepared answers to every question imaginable which they reel off with practiced charm, and they know more about the company than the CEO

What is a boy meant to do?

Like many other smart graduates with good grades i have a sense of entitlement and don't see why i should prove myself to employers. ive got the grades, got the extracurricular, got the work experience….now give me the job!

Of course deep down i know id make a hopeless employee. im aloof, easily bored, have a low frustration tolerance and hate getting up before noon and like to have a mid afternoon nap. Not to mention my fondness for long coffee breaks.

But THEY aren;t supposed to know that until AFTER they have hired me.

- 13 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

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  1. Miss Construe

    So you're working hard for a job you know you'll loathe. Surely with your "impossible good looks" the answer is simple – marry a rich widow. She'd allow you to indulge in your expensive habits and would only need servicing every other week (if you're lucky).

    Stay with her for a while before plotting her sadistic death and then you'll have the money you need to charm one or all of Girls Aloud. Problem Solved.

    29 Apr 2006, 16:04

  2. For an anonymous commenter you've certainly been following my posts. And Miss Construe demonstrates both a good vocabulary and an eye for a pun.

    Sadly though only girls i seem to attract these days are poor intellectuals and underage schoolgirls

    29 Apr 2006, 22:23

  3. Miss Nomer

    What about Plan B. A life in politics. You certainly have the breeding, a white middle class male who has been educated at public school and cambridge (we'll neglect to mention warwick, David Davis went there and he has soon been forgotten about). With that blond hair you could pass yourself off as one of Boris Johnson's relations which would make you popular with students, securing a seat despite your right right wing stance. A dalliance with a married company secretary splashed across the News of the World could secure your future on frontbench politics.

    Disclaimer – this was all said in jest and was not meant to make author of blog paranoid about hair. Any complex that ensues cannot be taken responsibility for.

    01 May 2006, 22:42

  4. An intriguing idea Miss Tree. i certainly enjoyed a radio show i did at warwick speaking out in favour of foxhunting. i believe somewhere long ago in the archives of my blog is a precis of said show.

    And yes a degree from Warwick would be a useful rebuke to any one who accuses me of being out of touch with the common man, while Cambridge confirms my effete upper–middle class pedigree. Although political infidelity both in and out of the bedroom is so commonplace these days, i would have to eschew the modern day petty adultery and go back to the roots of the Conservative party and seek to emulate the Profumo affair, by sleeping with a hooker who is two–timing me with a member of Al–Quaeda.

    02 May 2006, 00:48

  5. Miss Take

    For someone you seek to emulate and therefore I'm guessing have some admiration for (?) you didn't seem to show it, you accussed the tabloids of not celebrating great lives and yet I saw no obituary for Profumo who died in March. But then you could make ammends and write about the great J.K. Galbraith!

    02 May 2006, 18:25

  6. Miss Spelt, sadly i was not blogging in March, as i was on my 6 month hiatus (read too tight to pay my WGA subscription). But believe me, tears were shed when Profumo died. He was a gentleman, which cannot be said of many politicians. Sure he had an eye for the ladies, especially slutty girls who swam naked…but which red blooded male doesn't? And once he was found out and forced to resign, unlike several Labour party members, rather than do his best to get back in power, he commited his life to public service in the East End.

    Galbraith is a champagne socialist. But it is conceivable that i can elaborate after exams

    02 May 2006, 19:01

  7. Miss Judged

    A gentleman in politics? What would that consist of then, a married MP letting the woman decide which football shirt he should wear when they make love?

    On the note of your career was exactly posssessed you to want to take a job teaching and thus helping the community, not a very tory policy. You could always plead temporary insanity.

    03 May 2006, 00:37

  8. Miss Guided, that is not a gentleman, that is a hen–pecked yob. Football is a very common sport. And football shirts are even worse: i mean if you aren't on the team, why the hell are you wearing a footbal shirt. Do you seriously believe that just because you have Beckham 7 on your back, people will admire you?

    if, and if is the operative word, i taught, it would be at a public school indoctrinating the privileged. NOT trying to discipline yobs in failing comprehensives.

    Although the Tories do a lot for the community. Ever heard of trickle down theory? if not look out for an entry post exams

    03 May 2006, 02:35

  9. Miss Conception

    So you're calling your fellow tory, David Mellor a "hen picked yob". His biography begs to differ.

    What a condescending attitude you have Mr Rogers, I'm sure you'd fit in very well as a Conservative MP. I am perfectly capable of finding out for myself what the Trickle Down Theory is (assuming I don't already know).

    You also assume that your blog will be able to hold my interest post exam period. Maybe you should construct a confidence interval to see just how probable that is.

    03 May 2006, 11:21

  10. Miss Conception II

    I'd just like to add that you'd stand a better chance of starting a teacher/pupil relationship at a state school rather than a public one, students at the former are less discriminating, think peroxide blonde hair and a non–boyish figure – vicky pollard.

    03 May 2006, 17:39

  11. Miss Treated, i would like to apologise profusely for my reply to your previous comment. it was very bad form and completely uncalled for. i am under a lot of stress at the moment, and guess i lost my sense of humour and let your playful teasing and cross examinations get to me and lashed out.

    But out of curiosity, who the hell is vicky pollard?

    03 May 2006, 18:39

  12. Miss Trust

    Apology accepted, my cross examinations can be rather harsh at times. As a potential MP you'd be perfect, so insular! Vicky Pollard is a wonderful characted created by Matt Lucas and David Walliams in Little Britain. The typical chav, teen pregnency, leaves school, tries to sleep with footballers to sell her story to Max Clifford. If only you had DC++ you could watch it, might help you relax during your stressful period.

    03 May 2006, 19:11

  13. Vicky Pollard

    Yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but I can't BELIEVE you don't know who I am.

    03 May 2006, 22:49

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