All entries for Saturday 15 April 2006

April 15, 2006

Essential fashion accessories…or how not to dress

I freely admit I have no dress sense whatsoever. Here are my essential fashion accessories

1. Novelty T-shirts….current favourite is a Family Guy one with Stewie on the front, old faves include one with My Little Pony on the front, one with Yoga Bear….a bear contorting itself in the name of fashion PETA are up in arms….one with a Teddy Bear on the front, My Boris Johnson one and one with

"Sex is evil
Evil is sin
Sex is forgiven
So get stuck in"

and of course the Warwick Debating one wiith El Presidente on!

2. Faded jeans covered in ink stains and highlighter pen. I have a tiny waist and thick legs so to avoid them being skin tight I usually wear my jeans extremely low slung so most of my rear and hips are showing, cos Im too lazy to buy a belt

3. Endless hoodies…I have at least 10. I used to disapprove of them (see back entries) but noW Boris wears them I am never seen without one

4. Sunglasses…I adore my sunglasses. Bought them on holiday in the Canaries from an African with a huge grin (no doubt because they are fake and I was stupid enough to pay 20 Euros for them). They are silver with nice thick owl coloured stick things that keep your sunglasses on your ears

5. Ski boots and slippers and sandals I invariably wear these instead of shoes and never with socks. Trainers without socks are another essential.

6. Wife beaters….adore these and have hundreds

7. A Panama hat I got from Marks and Spencers last year

8. Horn rimmed glasses I wear to look smart

9. A cordurouy jacket and matching trousers in a sandy colour

10. A sports jacket with a houndstooth pattern

11. Anything pink…T-shirts, shirts, polo shirts

My expensive habits

1. Im too lazy and malcoordinated to drive and hate buses so go everywhere by train and taxi.

2. I hate check out queues at airports and lack of leg room so wherever possible I go business or first class

3. I hate ready meals and am too lazy to cook, so I live on a combination of mum's cooking, junk food and restaurant meals

4. I have a Costa coffee addiction and need it to work. A typical study day involves parking myself in Costa and going through several cups

5. As I have a huge collation of medical problems and hate the NHS,I invariably go private oh and im also a hypochondriac (comes from having loads of relatives who are medics so i know a litany of diseases….and also from taking a term's course in psychology in which i diagnosed myself with generalised anxiety disorder, sociopathic tendencies, an Oedipus complex, Penis envy…which is weird as usually only girls get that…a breast fixation…the list is endless)

6. Im totally new age and go through loads of various vitamins, fish oil capsules and supplements

7. Im a sucker for cosmetic products in my never ending quest for clean skin

8. I love music and get bored of a song after hearing it a few times so go out and buy more

9. I love the pampering you can only get at a upmarket health club, to the tune of close to 1000 a year

10. I have a hooker habit (kidding)

10 (really)....I have aesthetic sensibilitiies which mean I could never liive in a rough area as I adore grassy green suburbia. I will in all likelihood be working in London. You do the figures

Currently I maintain these habits only via a generous parent and a stupid bank manager who has an inflated view of my prospects.

Parent is cutting me off once I get employment and bank manager will come to his sense sooon.

So either I am going to have to cut back or hope I land that I bankiing job!!

But with the latter I am totally lazy and get burnt out tres easily…..

Looks like ascetism from here on in!

April 2006

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