All entries for Saturday 12 March 2005
March 12, 2005
The Debating team are a pretty intimidating group of people, as anyone who has seen the pictures can tell. We have myself who boxed at school and if you would believe everything my teammates say have a penchant for schoolgirls, we have Joel who with his sunglasses looks like he has come straight from Reservoir Dogs and has the distinction of driving from Cov to Southampton in 1h30minutes reaching a top speed of 120mph, James who despite looking like a nice guy has psychopathic tendencies especially when faced by bad judges (more on this later), Sara who is one of the few women I am scared of-probably because I know she could kick my butt, Jason who despite looking like the sort of man you could bring back to meet your mother is actually a sexual predator (ask anyone who went to Durham with him), and finally Amanda who despite looking sweet and innocent is an expert shot and has a licence to kill.
We had a competition in Southampton today. Things took an instant sour note after the first round when we were all placed last, which was completely ludicrous as we were clearly (with the exception of me and my partner) the best team in each of our respective debates. James proceeded to give the judges the ranting at they deserved as they were quite frankly appaling. Sara and Joel propped a case they won convincingly at Durham against damn sight better competition and were awarded 4th! Quite frankly we were outraged when the judges got even more ludicrous as the competition went on, coming up with th emost prepostourous reasons for their decisions. One judge even had the cheek to try and argue economics with me when he was a lawyer!
Anyway a few brief details of the debates:
ROUND 1: This house would legalise polygamy
Hard one to oppose and we did not do a good job. My arguments basically consisted of taking a moral stance and saying that legalising polygamny was condoning it: and polygamy is wrong because it results in jealousy, tends to promote the subservience of women as sex slaves, and screws up children that are the products of these relationships.
I was in a way hindered by playing the devil's advocates as personally I believe polygamy is a wonderful thing and am currently taking applications for my harem as we speak. The idea is that the various flaws of each women will balance themselves out: so if one wife cannot cook but is good at ironing, then the other wife can cook.
(Before I get flamed by the female populaton-I am taking the piss)
ROUND 2: This house would privatise universitites
This was my baby and I was on the opposition, and I just hammered them with economics: saying that privatisation neccessarily leads to higher fees which discourage access therefore there will be less people going to university especially from poorer backgrounds, and as an educated population benefits the economy and society, and education helps decrease income inequality, then there is a need for government subsidies to promote education.
ROUND 3: This house would enforce compulsory voting
Rather dry and political so will not bore people with the details.
ROUND 4: This house would abolish the minimum wage
Here I was able to go wild and talk at great length about market forces, government interference, deregulation and the trickle down theory. I used a helluva lot of economics, and talked about the wonders of capitalism. The opposition accused me of promoting slave labour which I promptly crushed by saying we are not forcing them to work and if they decide the wages are too low they can go and busk on the streets which didn't win me any fans.
After some group bonding bitching about the ludicrous judging and drinking vodka martinis, we headed back to Coventry, having earned the reputation of the most arrogant debating society in England! Nice!