All entries for Sunday 11 February 2007

February 11, 2007


Writing about web page

I want one of these. would make getting up exciting. You'd go to bed early just to be able to get up.

NY Times "First Ones

Writing about web page

This is "A SHORT FILM DIRECTED BY JAKE PALTROW" on the NY Times website, maybe you need to sign to see it I dunno.

A number of  hilarious observations struck me when watching this piece of bollocks. As this is a blog i shall tell you what they are, it seems the done thing:

Firstly - this is simply a piece of pre-Oscars promotional material, with the exception (i think) of Abbie Cornish, these are all Oscar nominees, yet NYT disguises this, and so protects its credibilty and doesnt become the talent agencies bitch by selling it as a short film. You can tell it is arty because it is in black and white with funny lighting, there are shots where the image does not match the sound and the camera focuses on seeming insignificant details, also you have heard of the film maker, so it must be good. You recognise his surname anyway, but if the rest of his family are famous he must be at least semi talented. Also he gives a voice over, he is expressing himself.and not merely trying to keep his CAA representation. Cock.

I like Helen Mirren's Magnani impression it is good, but borderline racist.

Abbie Cornish's story is great, but its not actually answering  the question is it? so she has to talk about the sound to try and wing some relevance. 

Watanabe makes me want to walk around the house making Japanese noises. This is what my friend Will does after seeing Kitano films. This is good but borderline racist.

And I like Billy Wilder, he may well have been simply telling Almodovar to piss off. 

And Di Caprio - are you really saying King Kong was the first 'picture' you saw, or are just saying that to seem sophisticated. It may welll have been the first film to make an impression on you, but you dont say that do you. Youre really saying that you didnt see a bit of Land Before Time (that was one of the first films i saw at the cinema) or Smokey and the Bandit, you didnt see flight of the navigator on tv or something? This is like me saying the first record i bought was Unknown Pleasures. and not the corrs album. 

January 25th

I thought about writing a blog a few weeks ago. i wrote the first entry but never got round to starting it up. Here is the first entry:

January 25th 2007

           I saw a really big dog today. It apparently was one of them. My housemate Jim talked to the guy who owned it, while I stood behind him scared. It was the size of a big Labrador or a small Alsatian. The guy said it was only 8 months old. It will totally be the size of a small horse.

           Jim said the guy is gonna have to spend a fortune on food for this dog. The guy said he didn’t care, he couldn’t let it stave. He said he could let a child starve but not his dog. I thought this was because the dog could eat him, whereas kids can’t even eat broccoli without help.

I also thought of Princess Michael of Kent. She also once said British people care more about their dogs than their children. Her evidence for this was that people care about dog pedigrees and blood lines and that, but let their children marry Asians. Princess Michael of Kent is a tit.

It was a very pretty dog though.

Oh No You Didn't

look at me, I got a Blog, just like Luke!

February 2007

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