All entries for January 2005

January 31, 2005

The upcoming elections

I have tried many different voting strategies over the years. This year, I'm going for a simple method:

I'm going to vote for whoever people tell me to.

There is a subclause to this rule:

Confliction. If I happen to be told to vote for two different people, the winner will be the one with the more persuasive arguement. This also includes the "I really don't like you" case, when I will have deemed that RON supplied a better arguement.

Let the fighting for my affection begin…


Are women like busses?

My granddad used to say "Women are like busses – you miss one and there'll be another one along in a minute" [Actually, he probably still does as he's not dead yet]

Sometimes I wonder how close the analogy is. As I know little about women [does any man?] I shall write down what I know about busses and let you make your own minds up.

Busses are always late
You always get the feeling that you're paying more than it's worth
Busses always seem on the verge of breaking down
You wait for ages and then 3 come along at once
It's rubbish when there is not a bus when you want one
I go to sleep on them

Any conclusions or other comments?


January 30, 2005

Answering my mail

As it is nearing the end of January, I have looked back over what I have written over the last month and realised that there were some comments which I did not reply to at the time. I would like to address a representative sample of these:

On 24 January 2005, 17:15, Mark Jarvis Fan wrote

I always look forward to reading the Jarvism. Don't you? It's very good.

First of all, I would like to applaud Mark Jarvis for gaining such a loyal fanbase. In reference to the issues raised, I would have to say that I enjoy reading the latest blog entries, but must admit that I do not make a particular effort to read the Jarvism over any other blog.

On 25 January 2005, 16:12, Jack Topley-Kingman wrote

Hi Arthur, have you read any work by Mark Billingham?

I must admit that while the name sounds familiar, I cannot think of any piece of his work that I have read. I would also like to point out that Arthur is my surname, thus I should be referred to as "Mr. Arthur"

On 28 January 2005, 10:50, Grogger wrote

Is this The Jarvism? It's very similar.

No, this isn't the Jarvism. I believe you want to go here for that. Any similarity that you may have seen between this blog and the Jarvism is purely co-incidental.

On 28 January 2005, 18:34, Mrs. Jarvelator wrote

This isn't The Jarvism. You lied

I never claimed that this was the Jarvism, thus I did not lie. Thus, ironically, you did.

On 29 January 2005, 17:02, Wayne Rooney wrote

Ridiculous, this is no match for The Jarvism

I am sure that Mark Jarvis is as pleased as I am that you enjoy his work. I would like to point out that I am not in competition with him, and thus the news that you prefer his blog is of little importance to me or my work. I would, however, like to thank you for taking the time to provide feedback.


Home

I've just got back from visiting home. My cousin is visiting from Australia so I was dragged back to be shown off. Sometimes I hate being a trophy child.

And what part of our glorious country did we show him? Stratford. That's right. I go all the way home. We go to Stratford. I don't have my stuff with me, so I have to go back home with them. At home I am forced to cook dinner. Then I come back here [with stuff]. Great.


Break it to fix it

Wardrobe door a bit dodgy.
Kick wardrobe door a little too hard.
Wardrobe door buckles.
Unbuckle wardrobe door.
Wardrobe door not quite so dodgy.

January 29, 2005

There are two types of people in this world…

…those who categorise people into two catagories, and those who don't.

I really wish I could remember where that quote is from. Note to self: buy book of quotations.

Anyway, the philosophy that I'll be trying to follow today is:
Do you care enough to actually do something about it? [not just plan to do something, but actually do it]
yes – Do it then
no – Then this issue doesn't matter to you


'Scuse me while I kiss this guy

This week i have mostly been listening to music. A lot of it was yoinked from my brother's collection so some of it is stuff I've not heard before [or at least not often]. Some random thoughts about some of it:

The title of this entry is, obviously, a misquote from Hendrix's "Purple Haze"

I didn't used to like the Dave Matthews Band. Now I do.

To the best of my knowledge, I have never broken a little girl [If you are or were a little girl whom I have broken, please get in touch so that I can update my files], thus I have a bizarre mental image of Bob Dylan sitting in a lab, breaking people until he has enough experimental evidence to say that the subject of the song "Just Like a Woman" does, indeed, break like a little girl.

Elvis speaks to me. No – this isn't a tabloid cover story. I just always feel deeply emotionally touched by the song "You Were Always On My Mind


January 28, 2005

Surreal bus journey

On the way home from my lecture I had a panic attack, because I thought I had a needle in my arm.

Except I've never actually had a needle in that part of my arm before, could see my arm (and no needle) and am not actually scared of needles.

Anyway, I'm fully recovered due to the miracle of bacon, lettuce and cheese [I had a disagreement with the tomato people after they refused to buy my slaves – fortunately the cheese growers have no such foibles when it comes to picking their fruit] sandwiches


The snuggletatsic theory of depression

I haven't really finalised the details and implications, but in one of the 3 hours of insomnia last night I conglomerated the following facts/trends:

  1. I am often depressed
  2. I often feel tired
  3. I often want a hug
  4. When I'm depressed I feel even tireder
  5. When I'm tired I feel more in need of a hug
  6. When I'm depressed a hug can reduce depression
  7. I have noticed similar trends to 4, 5 and 6 in other people

Now, the link between tiredness and depression is quite well observed, but has there been a proper in-depth study of the effect of snuggling? If it reduces depression and reduced depression reduces tiredness, then theoretically hugging should reduce tiredness. On the other hand, the links are not quite so clearly defined and may have other explainations.


January 27, 2005

I baptise you…

Yes, indeed. No longer shall my pile of random scribblings be known by the unimaginitive title of "Michael's blog". As I am, indeed, a veritable dance whore, I shall henceforth proclaim that fact proudly from the top of each of my [rather too many] entries.

January 2005

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