All entries for Friday 03 December 2004
December 03, 2004
I knew that I was overdue for a bit of a sob, and I knew that I was feeling very disappointed, but whilst writing that last entry my eyes started welling up.
I'm pleased to say that I'm feeling a bit better now, after spending over half an hour curled up on my bed crying my heart out, followed by a few minutes of thought [about self-mutilation mainly] and a quick doze.
Much better, in fact. I'm merely filled with spite, my hatred simmering inside me like the vat of boiling oil I'm going to place on top of their half-open door. But at least I'm no longer in my suicidal phase. Once again I have been saved by my mantra of "Fuck them – they're cunts" [also a useful thing to remember if you work in the porn industry]
I am not on the list for campus accomodation next year. I am not happy about that. Not at all.
I blame the forms. I think that if they had a "are you likely to have ridiculously many 9:00 lectures, no gaps long enough to make it worth going home in if you live off campus, and things on campus almost every evening and some weekends" box, I'd be in.
I was, actually, half tempted to tick the "if you don't get campus accomodation are you likely to be unable to complete your course" box, as I feel that going mad from lack of sleep, going on a killing spree and being arrested might interfere with my coarse [and believe me, I wish I was joking when I say there is a 50:50 chance of this actually happening]