All entries for Sunday 02 January 2005

January 02, 2005

And the answers are…

Follow-up to So, have we been paying attention from Michael - Dutiful Bandsaw

Here is a full set of answers, including some answers that would have got you bonus marks:

1. What is my name?
Michael Philip Arthur. I don't like it and want to change my surname.
2. Where was I born?
Chesham, Buckinghamshire. I was born at home. I was nearly born down the toilet, but instead was born in the spare bedroom.
3. Where did I go to school?
Greenway school, Chesham (now demolished and they're building houses there). St. Faith & St. Martin, Lincoln. Batt C of E school, Witney. The Henry Box School, Witney. One A-level course at Woodgreen School, Witney.
4. On which wrist do I wear my watch?
Left. It's a Seiko. I used to tie some string round my right wrist, because you never know when a bit of string will come in handy.
5. What are my hobbies?
Tuba playing. Ballroom dancing. Grinning people. Sitting.
6. What is my favourite body part?
On females: Lower back (followed by upper back, eyes, jaw and hair)
On males: Jaw
On me: My manly bosoms. (followed by eyes and calves)
7. Complete the following quote: I wish I was…
Dead. Gay. On drugs. Taller. Shorter. Less prone to wishing for things. Impotent. Proactive. Asleep.
8. What did I want a tattoo of? Where? Why did I decide against it?
St Michael fighting the dragon/devil. Left shoulder blade. A combination of price and not finding a design I like.
9. What type of pet do I want?
A dog. A big brown one. Except I'm allergic to animal hair. I also want a troop of wooly monkies.
10. How do I describe my sexuality?
Many different answers for this one. My current favourite is "a lesbian trapped in a man's body"
11. Red or white wine?
Red. Almost always. A good cabernet for preference. Note: the 2002 Australian wines are a bit crap. That's why they're on offer everywhere
12. Blondes or brunettes? [marks for including the related quote]
Gentlemen prefer blondes, but I ain't no gentleman. Thus: Brunettes. You could have had marks for "when life sucks…"
13. What am I scared of?
Everything. Me. The future. Snakes
14. List some of the moods I have been known to be in.
Hyper. Broody. Depressed. Semi-catatonic. Happy.
15. How many siblings do I have?
1 – a brother called James Alexander Arthur. He lives in Edinburgh with his fiance, Ayla.
16. How many of my bones have I broken?
None. I have also never broken any of anyone elses bones.
17. What do I like best/least about myself?
best: my resilient constitution
least: my mood swings
18. Which cheeses do I like?
Bavarian or Austrian smoked cheese. Roule.
19. Would you be willing to sleep with me?
Any answer with explaination gets you full marks
20. What is my favourite percussion instrument?
A lot of people would think vibraslap, but I must confess a secret passion for cowbells.

And the winner is: Absolutely nobody!! No-one bothered to enter, and thus I shall be keeping the £20 universal payment voucher (or cash as I like to call it) [which was, honestly, going to be the prize right from the start – don't you wish you'd entered].

More about me.

After a conversation with Chelsea earlier I am now in the mood to reveal more of my deep dark inner secrets to the world. Those with a weak heart should look away now.

First of all, I'm back in little old Leam. That's because I had things to do around here and on campus before term started. I forgot about the new year holidays and that everything will be closed for a few days. Bugger.

Secondly, in the words of one of my great dreams "I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared". This time it is not relating to the very strong likelihood of imminent death, but to my attitude towards life in general. I have, I admit, led a very sheltered life and thus there are a lot of thing that I have no first-hand knowledge of that most of my contempories have. I am scared of many things. Almost everything, in fact. But there are two things I'm scared of more than anything. One is the possibility that when put in a high-stress life-or-death situation I'll fly off the handle, do something reckless and end up getting a lot of people in one whole lot of trouble. The other is the possibility that I won't.

My third point was going to be about hope, but I shall postpone that to the fourth point, as I've just been struck by an inspiration which I am unwilling to commit to permanent record until I've worked out some of the details, but I feel is promising enough to warrant a paragraph stating that it has interrupted my thought processes.

So on to point four. Hope. I am, despite my best intentions, an optimist. I have hopes. I have dreams. Being blessed/cursed with having experienced no severe hardship, I have an undentable faith that "it'll be fine" (which has never been proven wrong yet). Yet I see hope as a bad thing. I imagine the future as a bright glowing place, and the universe's repeated and willful failure to live up to my expectations is rather demoralising.

January 2005

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