Who are you staring at?

Those of you wanting to know about me, clearly don’t know me – thus stop bugging me, you sick freak. This university’s only big enough for one stalker.

Unless you’re hot. In that case I’m tall, dark and gentlemanly and like poetry, cooking and doing manly stuff like hitting things with a hammer. Accessories sold separately.

Also, I’m a musician. Well, I own a kazoo. I’m also a tuba player, and, like all brass players, desperately hope one day to become an alcoholic. I honestly do. I wish I could care about anything enough to be addicted to it.

What else? I’m in year 4 of a 4 year course. What subject? Maths. Why are you running. Please come back. Damn! Should have said philosophy or something. Comparative gender studies, perhaps.